A sad day but a life to be remembered.

Well, I never thought I'd be faced with the death of my mother so soon. Sadly she passed away unexpectadly yesterday. I'm still comprehending it all and reflecting on so many things right now.
I wrote this poem last night in betwen my tears,I just felt that I had to get something down in writing. It sums up what my mother meant to me.

For my Mum.

A rock
Is what you were to me
Solid and strong
In my times of misery.

The sun
Is what you were to me
Warm, happy
who let me be free.

The Earth
Is what you were to me
Nurturing, grounded
Your judgment never clouded.

All these things to me,
Are you
They'll live in my memory
Strong and true.

How not to treat a cold!

Well, I'm still trying to get over this shitty flu type thing. I thought it would be a good idea to go out last night for a hot, spicy curry in my local, favourite curry house. The theory behind this being, that a hot curry would hopefully cure my fluey thing. So I met my mates and started off with a few vodkas to kick start the curing process. I then moved on to Baileys, as this seems a winter type drink, with whisky in and therefore has some medicinal value. I then knocked back a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon accompanied by a hot vegetable Chana Zarl and cheese and chilli nan bread.
By this time, the female conversation turned into drunken debauched tales of female erotic experiences, at a tone easily that would've shocked the diners at the table the furthest away!!I even recommended that a dear friend should send her story to Nancy Friday!! We were told on at least 4 occassions to lower the tone...at least until our fellow diners left the restaurant!! I laughed hilariously all night and felt miraculously better. Even my friends commented on my voice sounding better and yes, that I had fully recovered from this cold!! He He He, what a wake up call I had this morning!! My f'n head kills, I'm full of mucus and I feel absolutely shite!! The moral of the story for me is you can't treat a cold with copious amounts of alcohol or spices!! Unless karma is responsible for my suffering!!

What planet are some fuckers on!!

After watching Newsnight last night, it reminded of how divided the planet is. Some company in the US is trying to sell wind up powered laptops to Africa. Now, at first I thought what a great idea! But then my cynical alter ego stepped in to remind me 'why the fuck am I getting drawn into this'. OK I'm all for wind-up laptops from an environmental level, but shouldn't schools and Aids treatment be a more urgent necessity?
After further debate about this on Newsnight, it seems that the best way forward for spending money on developing countries is to invest in healthcare, education and the countries much needed infrastructure. It makes me sick to the stomach to see how wasteful and consuming the west in comparison to poorer countries has become. Indeed the west has it's own issues of wealth divide that I find hard to digest on a daily level!
Well, thought I'd found a new friend to go art gallerying and cafes with, but I've ruined that glimmer of hope! So I think I'll just have to go out with my mad friends on a mad red wine and curry night. At least that will add the flames to my feminist passions and political desires.

Sometimes you really fuck up!! Thank God I'm on strike tomorrow

Well I've really made a big fuck up today...sometimes I just find it so hard to trust people and their motives. Because of this I end up saying stupid things. To the person who I write this to, and you know who you are, I'm sorry about my fuck up!! It's also made me realise that there's something inherently wrong with the job that I do...in the sense that I tend to assume the negative and have become more and more cynical as the years have passed on!! Anyway I hope you read this ...and accept my apologies with big hugs :(

I'm also supposed to be on strike tomorrow in defence of FE teachers getting a fairer pay deal..which is well below that of school teachers..and receives much lower funding.
At the moment though I'm coming down with a bad case of what i reckon is flu or sadness!! I reckon I'll be spending the day in the sack tomorrow if this flu persists!

Anarchy on Question Time - I like it!!Men that need re-educating

Well after a tired day yesterday and after the domestic duties of motherhood were complete, I sat down to watch the real first bit of TV (apart from Eastenders of course!) And my God did Question Time prove well worth watching!! Rhona Cameron was really funny and managed to really make me laugh - Bollox was used on at least 3 occasions to MPs. It restored my faith in radicalism a little.
However, that honeymoon period was shortly lived!! After reading posts on an unnamed forum it makes me shudder to think of some of the men that walk this planet. Not only are some of them complete misogynists, they're all completely unaware of the issues faced by many women regarding equality, sex issues etc...they haven't got a clue about feminism. Is that what the 2000s are about? How far have women really come with regards to feminism? To be continued!!

I just can't be bothered today!!

You ever had one of those days where you just can't be arsed with anything? Well, that's my experience of living on planet Earth today! I've even come home from work early today because I just can't be arsed!! Hmm when's the next full moon due? Maybe the forces of the magical moon are pulling at my body into that lunacy phase! Although checking on google, the invaluable search engine, it states that the moon is only 68% full...oh dear..bad news for that theory then!! I must remind myself though that this does happen to me a few days of the month and probably due to the anatomy of the female body! I'm gonna do a long swim tomorrow and that should do the trick...water therapy always does it for me!

Internet addict Sara

Well what a windy and cold November day today...it feels like autumn is definitely here! I love the strength in the wind this time of the year!
Well, I've decided I have serious addiction to the internet! and it's such fun! Downloaded some good music from megadogsoundsystem
and it reminded me of my mad allnighter there a year or so ago!! This is putting me in the mood for Saturday night..getting excited and ready to dance like a mad'n!!
Today was like any other work day, although I had a new student working with me.
Well not much excitement - still sick of the TV and decided an internet addiction is more fruitful than vegging out in front of a shite TV!!

Family, friends and contemplation

Had a lovely weekend if not a bit hectic and tiring! It was good see a few friends, however, I realise guests can be a bit selfish at times and act like they're in a 4 star hotel - bless 'em!Not that I haven't already got loads to do regarding domestic stuff!! I mean it would help if someone offerred to wash the F'n pots!! argghh! I can feel another hulk sized rage coming on or maybe I'm just mentally unstable!!
Bonfire night turned into drunken mayhem, with some members of my family! My sister was more concerned about her new front room carpet! Not suprisingly though, as it was raining and muddy!My brother decided he was the font of all knowledge regarding fires! Plastics and fire DO NOT go together! Indeed he went on to burn an old plastic dustbin! The toxic fumes were worse than Bhopal!! Maybe he's trying to kill me off early to get my non- existent millions! God! I sometimes wonder whether my brother is, who he actually says he is. But I do love him really!!And these words are really sent with endearing thoughts oh dear brother! Environmentally speaking, I was PISSED OFF with his actions! See, thats what 8 bottles of Kronenborg do to people!I'm still contemplating people's motives in life and find it interesting, if not tragic, that you can be so close to someone one minute and then so far away. But then that's me for you!

Ain't life funny!

Sometimes you wonder what life is all about...how futile it can be. The meeting of minds can be abolished by the touch of buttons on a small battery operated device. Call me an old fashioned girl or something if you like!
Loyalty, friendship and honesty are my policy - not empty words. Words have their meanings and when people use their energies to express feelings I consider this to be special and sincere..I guess everybody is different and do not have the same virtues. The more I remember this the better..That's my rant for a wet and dull, November Sunday! Although the wind is proving healthy and blowing away a bit of sadness.

God am I hungover!! Heavy rock rage!!

Well I went out on a rare visit to see a 3 heavy rock bands last night. Musically, these bands were great and played really well together. Furthermore, each of the bands had female lead vocals which was extremely refreshing to see in the world of male dominated heavy rock!!
However, 3 hours of heavy rock took its toll..in the form of extreme loud drunkeness! OK so this is a heavy rock thing and all that, but the music seemed to get louder whilst under the influence..I began to get what is known as 'Heavy Rock Rage!!' argggghhhhhhhh. I can handle 8 hours of dance music but 3 hours of heavy rock just topped me over the edge of insanity!I'm now feeling the pain of too much alcohol and being a rock chick for a night!!