Who Am I?

I guess we all ask this questions of ourselves at certain times in our life. I know for sure, that I'm a very sensitive and emotional person - always have been, always will be! For God's sake, I used to pull my hair out as a child, I used to run away from home in the hope that someone would come looking for me..I craved love and attention, for some strange reason. I know this is why I'm susceptible as an adult, to become upset so easily and yet, I also know this is why I am able to be very compassionate, forgiving and empathetic.I have an enormous heart and the trouble is with that, is that I give of it freely and without question..those who I becomne fond of, I open my heart to them and show much affection and warmth.

Today, I dreamt about A. We were lying in bed together and I was playing with and plaiting his lovely red hair..We were happy and content. I was sort of panicking that he was lying in my bed cos he hadn't met my kids yet and I felt that this wasn't the right way for them to meet him! I woke up and then realised that this was all a dream..I felt grumpy and fed up that this wasn't real..I wanted to go back to sleep and relive this. I am missing him very much, my belly aches because of this and when I think about him I just keep getting sad..But, I'm determined to move forward and get on with other stuff and time will be the teller about him.

So me, Too giving maybe? Too heartfull? Too Kind? But these qualities are ones that I'm proud about and indeed, want to retain. If people can't handle these, then that's their problem and really, truthfully, I should be spending these qualities on those who appreciate them and indeed, nurture them...maybe somepeople just can't handle my fullonness! Ah well, that's me and I like being as such..


Carnival in London tomorrow to which I'm looking very forward to..breath of fresh air, lots of dancing and fun. I await!