Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Heatwaves, Jetsetting and Nature...

Summer is finally here and yes, like most of the British population, I'm huffing and puffing about the heat! Don't get me wrong, I love the warm sunshine and summer but I hate the fact that there are limited outdoor swimming and paddling facilities. Today, I had a big urge to head for a swim but failed to do so and thus, I may well get up extra early tomorrow and head for an early morn swim just after my son has left for school!
Me and the man semi planned to swim in a place called Audenshaw Reservoir in Manchester last weekend however, by the time we'd met each other at oxford Road, had a few beers in a lively pub, the idea seemed just too physical and thus, we ended up heading further down the Oxford Road area, which by the way, I especially like for bars! I took the man to an old haunt of mine called 'Big hands' and we then stumbled back to his in the early hours worse for wear!

During the weekend, I had some time alone as the man had his daughter's party to attend so I headed off to Stockport and spent a few hours roaming around the centre. I like the old areas of this city, not so keen on the new, but the Underbridge areas and walking street are sort of nice and remind me about what the town would've been like back in past times before modern development took a hold! After roaming around and enjoying a cosy pub called the Arden Arms, I met up with the man at Stockport Station and off we went jetsetting back to Notts for another party! Both of us agreed the weekend involved far too much booze and therefore, we aim to be more active and less boozy next time we see each other!
I have now met his children and this was sort of overwhelming for me in some way. They were so sweet to me and to watch him in his role as a father, was really something else..it also brought home a wave of emotions for me and also blew my mind on some level. I guess in this scenario I felt a tad sad that I would never have children with him and if we would have met at another time in our lives then maybe we would've gone down that path but we both agree that we were diiferent people in the past and thus, would have probably not even contemplated being together back then! Weird how paths take their own little routes with certain people entering life along the way. Anyway, the kids? They treated me with much love and affection and it all felt so very natural to be around them, helping where necesary and standing back when the time felt right to do so. I managed to even get a hug and kiss from the eldest daughter, who in many ways, I connected with instantly - possibly because she's at the age where she's interested in finding out about many things and seemed extremely interested in me!

Today, I had a visit from a common toad! Yes, sat outside my back door amongst my bottle bank! Sweet! The little thing budged itself when it saw me and then just sat there staring.. I love these moments of nature invading my life..reminds me about what peace can be found in animals all around us! I remember a Hedgehog visiting my garden last year, which touched and warmed the heart for sure!

So, 2 months since I met my man. The time has flown and yet when I am with him, nothing matters, he calms me down and brings me peace, he makes me feel better when maybe things have been tough on some level, he constantly reassures me and makes me feel beautiful, all I see when I am with him is him - indeed, sitting on the train back to Notts and all around me seem to fade into the distance when sat at his side, he is tactile and very loving and therefore, he is to me, one of the best gifts that has entered my life for a very long time! We are making plans for the future about things that we would like to do together; travel, experiences, fun time with kids and the potential of where and how we may be closer to each other on a location level..whether this be by him moving here or me moving over to the North West or Peaks, time will tell...but all is calm and peaceful in my world...

Monday, June 15, 2009

Long time no blog post............

Things in Sara world have been pretty hectic of late meaning, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. I've been seeing a lightness and a feeling of becoming hopefully more creative and productive again. I'm hoping to design a large mirror and white tiled mosaic for my garden so that when the sun or moon shines, its light will be reflected all around into space!

Have been listening to The Shortwave Set and The Band of Horses. Band of Horses song Funeral, truly blows my mind..so melancholic yet bloody beautiful at the same time! I was led to their tunes afer the man showed me a BMX video with Funeral used as the soundtrack and after that, I had to seek out these guys' tunes!

This weekend has also been a hectic one. A party to attend Saturday, with some of my mates and brother and wife meeting the man. Hence, too much alcohol was drunk and I literally forced us to go for an early morning - 1am, bike ride down the river to watch and listen to the wonderful flowing water. He must think I'm mad, but not that he doesn't have his own mad man and outlandish moments!
Sunday, we took ourselves for a long swim, playing in the water together was great fun and such a great feeling especially when there was only 5 other people swimming in the pool!
Last night we chilled and watched a film together ready for a good night's sleep and an early wake for the man as he was commuting back to Manchester this morning 6am, to get a deadline completed with his job.

Already he's discussed moving to Nottingham..the only fear is jobs and his house. However, an art course at uni beckons him and I see no reason why I shouldn't support his dream being a reality! We'll see, still early days but when I'm with him it all feels so calm, loving and free. Don't get me wrong, I have my anxieties and I realise that my self esteem has been knocked over many years - and I'm talking 10 or more years..I guess when our exterior gets chipped at, the interior crumbles somewhat and this is where the rebuilding of oneself, on some level, has to start again. Difficult and a long battle and me being such a thinker, can be problematic. The key is to do rather than think, just as my man reminded me about a similar Bruce Lee quote. I think also, the love I receive is different from any sort of past love and this taps into childhood stuff that has never been there, hard to explain but enlightening all of the same! When asked at the party on Saturday how long the man and me have known each other, he replied, '3000 years, have I known Sara'..Blows my mind at times and thus have to really keep a lid on it!

I'm again starting to write some poems but the tone is so different, in my opinion..A good friend commented to me that she is glad to have the old Sara back - apparently, I've been gone someplace else for the last 12 years, which for an outsider to observe is an interesting and weird though indeed!

Work has been hard on some level but inspiring on another; a student of mine wrote the most fantastic article about graffiti art - brilliant stuff and gave me a real buzz to read her work and times like this remind me that my job is so worthwhile!

Monday, June 01, 2009

Weekend of wonder

Another free weekend for me to spend time how I liked, so the Man came to visit me this time. It's amazing how we just happily fall into doing the things we both want to do with no issue or arguements.
We met in the city, when I saw him walk up to me my heart flipped and I just felt so lovely holding him as time stood still..we headed for a drink at a trad pub near the canal and just grounded each other.
Saturday, breakfast was cooked for me and we then headed into the city to meet a good friend of mine who was celebrating her birthday. A quick drink and birthday wishes were exchanged and then off we went around the Lace Market - I wanted the man to see the beautiful buildings of this part of Nottingham but sadly, we couldn't get into St Mary's Church grounds, so instead, we admired the fab gargoyles on this ancient church!

We then sampled all of my local boozers in the city with cocktails to end and a taxi home. Saturday was a beautiful evening so we got cosy in my garden and watched the stars until early a.m.

Sunday, we did a long walk down to the river and paddled in it - the man was going to swim in the river but the area where we landed was too shallow, even though the current is fast, the water only reached to our knees - we've decided that next time we'll head to a pond that my Dad still takes a plunge in!
The last part of our time spent together was in my backgarden lying on the grass and just having some quiet and reflective time together..to see him depart on the train was and is a wrench and leaves me feeling lonely for a day or so afterwards but that's something I need to work on and indeed, see the positives rather than dwelling on his presence being missed.

My weekends are a delight in his company and we now have to negotiate how we can se each other when he starts to have his kids every alternate weekend - guess the next step is moving towards us introducing each other to our respective kids and all hanging out together which I'm sure will have its trials, as I know these sort of set ups often do at times, but he is worth all of that and more!