Bounding energy ....

All things to much energy me..My mind is an overactive atom bomb ready to explode at times but then seeking information and interests has also been a part of my personality, so let's let the atom bomb explode!!! Recently, I've been loving my foray back to William Blake land..I love this guy's work - paintings and many of his poems..Eternity? What a simple but beautiful poem..


Eternity

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies... Read more
Lives in eternity's sun rise.


My favourite picture? Possibly Pity or Adam and Eve watched by satan - amazing picture and illustration that was used in Milton's Paradise Lost.

I've also been enjoyimg listening to a band called Glas Candy, their track Digital Versicolor is sooooo seductive! I love it!
This weekend I have a few plans up my sleeve; a possible trip to the Manchester Buddhist Centre open day and def a visit to the Salford Quays War Imperial Museum to see the exhibition about the cold war and artefacts from the Berlin wall destruction. I look forward to seeing all of the coild war history - should be really interesting!

Life is good on many levels in my world, albeit a few hiccups here and there and the need to work through certain issues..lucky that solidity is present in my world, lucky indeed..

Reflections

So the creative energy has been a tad dormant of late until one day last week, Thursday or Friday I think it was whereby I had the most wonderful creative energy. I wonder whether this is to do with the changing seasons and the wild wind blowing on this very day! I cycled to the city, bought myself a fab new book called 'Sum;Forty tales from the afterlife' by David Eaglemen, which I urge anyone to read who has an interest in different possibilities or not, of what may or may not be out there when we depart this plane of life. This weekend I reach 42! 42? I remember my Mum reaching 42 and it feels odd to be thinking that I'm there.. almost! You may call me mad but I aim to visit my Mum's grave on my birthday to return to the source of where I came from.. I spoke to the man about this and he completely understood my reasoning in this..then again, he's happy to sit in graveyards in the dark, drinking wine so that's no suprise there! Yes, I return to the source and indeed, thinking about such things has led me to spread creative energy via the medium of a poem! I hope you like this one...Gobbledegook maybe but sorta makes sense to me right now...


Reflections

Reflect outwards to the mass to correct -
Correct inwards to the core to reflect.
Universally, in bondage, we connect,
Subconsciously, we accidentally select.
Energy flows in the core to reflect,
Mirrors of reflecting shards we collect..
Tides of energy atoms we select,
Universal broken path we correct
Until our true self we finally, reflect..

Revisiting the girl mother inside of me....

Motherhood and family life..I have forgotten what this is like on a 'large level' if one can explain it this way; by this I mean, having more than just myself and my son to think about..but indeed, 3 children and a man. Yes, this weekend was the first time my partner's kids visited 'my gaff', as they call it in Manchester! I was a little worried as to how I would cope with this sort of invasion and my space being host to small kids again and indeed, my head and heart getting into a different way of functioning but I am happy to say, all went very well. The kids are extremely loving towards me, taken me on wholeheartedly seemingly and this weekend gave me the chance to really bond with all 3 children on an individual level and in their own rights as little people. The youngest child, now comes up and likes to be hugged by me and the middle child, insists that I am the one who brushes her hair! This girl thing? It's a whole new ball game to me, as I have only been around boys as of course, my kids are boys!
We did many activities from walking, boating, paddling, visiting nature and museums, glass painting, baking cakes, watching films, sitting in front of a garden fire and reflecting... The man is a beautiful Father, very loving, firm but fair, kind and openhearted and this to me, is a beautiful trait and indeed, shows to me such emotional maturity and loyalty.
I felt gutted when they all left to return to the North West and cried all the way back home. Why? You may well ask?
Well, I guess this weekend has reminded me what I love about family life, about how if one is truly happy with another soul then life flows freely and well, that I will never have children with the man as we both do not want any more kids and in some ways this brings a sense of sadness that we will never experience this together but on the positive we both have much to offer fellow children and this is indeed a positive thing, that I don't like to say goodbye to the man who I am deeply in love with, who understands me, who loves me, who listens and acts on promises for me, who is loyal, giving and kind...this essentially tears at my heart. But I feel truly blessed and I feel blessed that his children have taken to me with open hearts full of love too..

Finally coming back down to the real world..

Time has passed since my last blog post and thus, I have been busy with holidaying and travelling to and from the North West.
Denmark was lovely; my lovely son has matured so much, he looks like a proper young man and so handsome! He loves being out there and is happy, feels free and will be starting language school next week. I feel proud of him and I also feel that this was the right move for him at this point in time in his life. We spent most nights together just chilling and catching up at being mother and son. My youngest son also enjoyed his holiday over there and was great for brothers to catch up with each other, play fight and have fun! Denmark as ever, filled me with a sense of freedom and carefreeness. Always has and I guess, always will. Cycling around Copenhagen still gives me that ultimate sense of freedom and love for the beauty of that city!

Greece was wonderful; romantic, loving, shared experiences and laughter. Spending such long time with the man was a whole new experience and of course, we got to know each other on a new and different level. He was in awe that I dared to travel alone as I had planned but then I have always been an independent soul and I do think there is some truth in middle children and issues around feeling lonely and thus, manage to become self reliant and self dependent. Anyway, our time was mainly spent swimming, snorkelling, eating in beautiful tavernas, cycling the length of the island, sunbathing and exploring - all in all, a sweet and interesting time was spent! and in many ways, I feel blessed that I have been able to experience this break.

Last night, I found out that one of my poems has been published in our local culture magazine. I feel proud, yet humbled by this at the same time and indeed, feel a sense of inspiration to write again soon. But for me, writing comes in waves and I really can not force it otherwise it feels untrue, wrong and false.. I will seek my poem out for you to read asap! Anyway a brief intro into my world and yes, it's good to be back and yet I do so miss my travels and my sense of wanderlust freedom..but you know, I guess I will always have this feeling inside of me..

Life's been busy and off I go...

So things in Sara World have been busy! Weekends are mostly spent with the man and sharing precious time together that we are unable to do during the week re. living at different parts of the country but at least Manchester isn't so far and we both have the same comittment to travelling over see each other and spending time with respective kids.

This week my son and I jet off to Denmark to visit my eldest son and my friends. We are staying with a good friend in Copenhagen for 2 nights and then head off down south of Copenhagen to the coast road area, Greve Commune area, to stay in a small log cabin, close to the beach and close to where my son now lives. Spending time with him in his new country will be lovely. He's maturing so much and admitted to me that he loves being out in Denmark and as he says, feels very free. I remember feeling exactly the same when I first moved out there. So, much travelling of late and things to look forward to in Denmark..beaches, Bakken, Cafe Culture Dansk/Copenhagen stylee, catching up with family, cycling and museuming no doubt..

After our time there, we return and then off to Greece go I for a week with my man! A hardened traveller am I right now! I will try and blog more, with tales of my adventures and post up some pictures along the way!

Wild Water Swimming and Reverberation

Wild water, outdoor swimming, one of the greatest feelings of them all! Yes, me and the man took a wonderful swim in an area close to Cranfleet Lock near Sawley.. a windsurfing lake that has a small beach like area. Easy to get into the water there and with a tinge of dull green about its colour, I was more than happy to immerse myself in this wilderness! We both loved it and the whole experience of swimming next to green foliage, trees and birds flying overhead felt truly ethereal. The erotic side of me loved the fact that I was experiencing this with the man and the contrast of pale white skin against a green water backdrop made me want to paint this moment for evermore! A place no doubt, where we will definitely go back to and play together in again! The man is a star and more and more, am I learning and letting myself go along with trusting and believing. This weekend, is an all kid one so that means, 4 kids between us, which should be much fun.
The man, like me, has a wild imagination but his is much more fantasy/otherworldly driven than mine and I keep telling him that he has to write down his daydreams..I guess this is a hangover from his drug fuelled days! Anyway, the daydreams are a long story that could indeed, be made into a trilogy film! He laughs when I tell him to write his stuff down cos he ain't a writer but draws and see things visual, so I offered to write down his daydreaming story - he reckons it'd take 3 years to write it all down!

Been listening to an old Smashing Pumpkins CD a fair bit over the past few weeks. Mellon collie and the Infinite Sadness. I love this album and I guess it reminds me a little about my own thoughts from the past and indeed, conquering these..My favourite tracks from the album are Galapagos, By Starlight, Farewell and Goodnight..
Just fantastic tracks and I love Billy Corgan's genius writing..

Goodnight, to every little hour that you sleep tite
May it hold you through the winter of a long night
And keep you from the loneliness of yourself
Heart strung, is your heart frayed and empty
cause its hard luck, when no one understands your love
Its unsung, and I say

Goodnight, my love, to every hour and every day
Goodnight, always, to all thats pure thats in your heart

Goodnight, may your dreams be so happy and your
Head lite with the wishes of a sandman and a night light
Be careful not to let the bedbugs
Sleep tight nestled in your covers


The sun shines, but I dont
The silver rain will wash away

And you can tell, its just as well

Genius Mr Corgan, true genius! And beautiful tunes!

Heatwaves, Jetsetting and Nature...

Summer is finally here and yes, like most of the British population, I'm huffing and puffing about the heat! Don't get me wrong, I love the warm sunshine and summer but I hate the fact that there are limited outdoor swimming and paddling facilities. Today, I had a big urge to head for a swim but failed to do so and thus, I may well get up extra early tomorrow and head for an early morn swim just after my son has left for school!
Me and the man semi planned to swim in a place called Audenshaw Reservoir in Manchester last weekend however, by the time we'd met each other at oxford Road, had a few beers in a lively pub, the idea seemed just too physical and thus, we ended up heading further down the Oxford Road area, which by the way, I especially like for bars! I took the man to an old haunt of mine called 'Big hands' and we then stumbled back to his in the early hours worse for wear!

During the weekend, I had some time alone as the man had his daughter's party to attend so I headed off to Stockport and spent a few hours roaming around the centre. I like the old areas of this city, not so keen on the new, but the Underbridge areas and walking street are sort of nice and remind me about what the town would've been like back in past times before modern development took a hold! After roaming around and enjoying a cosy pub called the Arden Arms, I met up with the man at Stockport Station and off we went jetsetting back to Notts for another party! Both of us agreed the weekend involved far too much booze and therefore, we aim to be more active and less boozy next time we see each other!
I have now met his children and this was sort of overwhelming for me in some way. They were so sweet to me and to watch him in his role as a father, was really something else..it also brought home a wave of emotions for me and also blew my mind on some level. I guess in this scenario I felt a tad sad that I would never have children with him and if we would have met at another time in our lives then maybe we would've gone down that path but we both agree that we were diiferent people in the past and thus, would have probably not even contemplated being together back then! Weird how paths take their own little routes with certain people entering life along the way. Anyway, the kids? They treated me with much love and affection and it all felt so very natural to be around them, helping where necesary and standing back when the time felt right to do so. I managed to even get a hug and kiss from the eldest daughter, who in many ways, I connected with instantly - possibly because she's at the age where she's interested in finding out about many things and seemed extremely interested in me!

Today, I had a visit from a common toad! Yes, sat outside my back door amongst my bottle bank! Sweet! The little thing budged itself when it saw me and then just sat there staring.. I love these moments of nature invading my life..reminds me about what peace can be found in animals all around us! I remember a Hedgehog visiting my garden last year, which touched and warmed the heart for sure!

So, 2 months since I met my man. The time has flown and yet when I am with him, nothing matters, he calms me down and brings me peace, he makes me feel better when maybe things have been tough on some level, he constantly reassures me and makes me feel beautiful, all I see when I am with him is him - indeed, sitting on the train back to Notts and all around me seem to fade into the distance when sat at his side, he is tactile and very loving and therefore, he is to me, one of the best gifts that has entered my life for a very long time! We are making plans for the future about things that we would like to do together; travel, experiences, fun time with kids and the potential of where and how we may be closer to each other on a location level..whether this be by him moving here or me moving over to the North West or Peaks, time will tell...but all is calm and peaceful in my world...

Long time no blog post............

Things in Sara world have been pretty hectic of late meaning, blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. I've been seeing a lightness and a feeling of becoming hopefully more creative and productive again. I'm hoping to design a large mirror and white tiled mosaic for my garden so that when the sun or moon shines, its light will be reflected all around into space!

Have been listening to The Shortwave Set and The Band of Horses. Band of Horses song Funeral, truly blows my mind..so melancholic yet bloody beautiful at the same time! I was led to their tunes afer the man showed me a BMX video with Funeral used as the soundtrack and after that, I had to seek out these guys' tunes!

This weekend has also been a hectic one. A party to attend Saturday, with some of my mates and brother and wife meeting the man. Hence, too much alcohol was drunk and I literally forced us to go for an early morning - 1am, bike ride down the river to watch and listen to the wonderful flowing water. He must think I'm mad, but not that he doesn't have his own mad man and outlandish moments!
Sunday, we took ourselves for a long swim, playing in the water together was great fun and such a great feeling especially when there was only 5 other people swimming in the pool!
Last night we chilled and watched a film together ready for a good night's sleep and an early wake for the man as he was commuting back to Manchester this morning 6am, to get a deadline completed with his job.

Already he's discussed moving to Nottingham..the only fear is jobs and his house. However, an art course at uni beckons him and I see no reason why I shouldn't support his dream being a reality! We'll see, still early days but when I'm with him it all feels so calm, loving and free. Don't get me wrong, I have my anxieties and I realise that my self esteem has been knocked over many years - and I'm talking 10 or more years..I guess when our exterior gets chipped at, the interior crumbles somewhat and this is where the rebuilding of oneself, on some level, has to start again. Difficult and a long battle and me being such a thinker, can be problematic. The key is to do rather than think, just as my man reminded me about a similar Bruce Lee quote. I think also, the love I receive is different from any sort of past love and this taps into childhood stuff that has never been there, hard to explain but enlightening all of the same! When asked at the party on Saturday how long the man and me have known each other, he replied, '3000 years, have I known Sara'..Blows my mind at times and thus have to really keep a lid on it!

I'm again starting to write some poems but the tone is so different, in my opinion..A good friend commented to me that she is glad to have the old Sara back - apparently, I've been gone someplace else for the last 12 years, which for an outsider to observe is an interesting and weird though indeed!

Work has been hard on some level but inspiring on another; a student of mine wrote the most fantastic article about graffiti art - brilliant stuff and gave me a real buzz to read her work and times like this remind me that my job is so worthwhile!

Weekend of wonder

Another free weekend for me to spend time how I liked, so the Man came to visit me this time. It's amazing how we just happily fall into doing the things we both want to do with no issue or arguements.
We met in the city, when I saw him walk up to me my heart flipped and I just felt so lovely holding him as time stood still..we headed for a drink at a trad pub near the canal and just grounded each other.
Saturday, breakfast was cooked for me and we then headed into the city to meet a good friend of mine who was celebrating her birthday. A quick drink and birthday wishes were exchanged and then off we went around the Lace Market - I wanted the man to see the beautiful buildings of this part of Nottingham but sadly, we couldn't get into St Mary's Church grounds, so instead, we admired the fab gargoyles on this ancient church!

We then sampled all of my local boozers in the city with cocktails to end and a taxi home. Saturday was a beautiful evening so we got cosy in my garden and watched the stars until early a.m.

Sunday, we did a long walk down to the river and paddled in it - the man was going to swim in the river but the area where we landed was too shallow, even though the current is fast, the water only reached to our knees - we've decided that next time we'll head to a pond that my Dad still takes a plunge in!
The last part of our time spent together was in my backgarden lying on the grass and just having some quiet and reflective time together..to see him depart on the train was and is a wrench and leaves me feeling lonely for a day or so afterwards but that's something I need to work on and indeed, see the positives rather than dwelling on his presence being missed.

My weekends are a delight in his company and we now have to negotiate how we can se each other when he starts to have his kids every alternate weekend - guess the next step is moving towards us introducing each other to our respective kids and all hanging out together which I'm sure will have its trials, as I know these sort of set ups often do at times, but he is worth all of that and more!

Coming to terms with Real Love

I live in my head and dreams. Always have done and I guess always will. I follow my heart and I throw myself in without caution. I guess this is down to the fact that I am a very passionate person and thus an emotional person.. A month down the line of being with the new man, I am realising that when real love is offered to me, on the level that the man offers to me, at times, scares the shit out of me!
Maybe I have always had difficulty accepting genuine love on some level and thus, have possibly throughout much of my life, chosen men who are 'emotionally distant or controlling'.
The new man, constantly reassures me - my trust has been broken from the past and thus, this is posing the fear of trusting again. The days away from him have in some ways, been wobbly for me and left me feeling needy and yet, I couldn't wish for a better person to rebuild my trust..as he says to me..

"I am walking beside you and I am going nowhere unless you tell me to Fuck off"

And I genuinely believe him. When I think about the words spoken to me last weekend, I have been deeply touched and need to remind myself that this love is real. To be told that he has been drawing me ( the features I have) all of his life in his facial pictures, blew me away!
This love doesn't hurt me, it supports me, it works with me, it listens and understands me, it lets me be free, it practices honesty, it's passionate and romantic and kind and caring..I could kick myself at times..
Just goes to show how low my self esteem has been. To accept a person tell you that you are beautiful, that they could draw almost every line and mole on your body is an amazing and wonderful thing..and is what I have searched for in a partner for all of my life. I now just need to work on accepting and letting love move the way it should do naturally..

Hip Manchester

Manchester, what a brill vibe going on this city! My 4 day break with the man was wonderful! The place feels sort of cosmopolitan and happening on so many levels. Of course the place also has its fair share of social problems and poverty as any other city in the UK but I actually really enjoyed my time there and loved the relaxed and buzzing feeling.
The photos? The pillars? this is a night view of Manchester Art Gallery - a brill gallery with some great works including Henry Moore, Lowry, Mogliadini to name a few. Visiting the art gallery with the new man was a treat and a beautiful and romantic experience.
The marble pillar? This is the man's local pub and apparently, used to be a bank - such a grand and beautiful building this is for sure.

The kissers? the man and me of course..

We had a great time. Walking around a large reservoir and canal, visiting the gallery, a Chinese meal out in Chinatown followed by some rauccous dancing at a brill little venue called The Tiger Lounge - playing kitsch and retro sounds..right up my street! On arrival back to the man's area at 5am, we decided to head straight home, although we were tempting each other to head to a near reservoir to watch the sun rise .BUT too much booze and tiredness deterred us though and I'm sure we'll do this another time when on my next visit and we also think we'll head skinny dipping in the reservoir - hopefully we won't get arrested!

Leaving him was hard today, really choked me up but I know that when Friday comes, he'll be zooming his way up to my open arms again and I really await to be in his arms again!

The Old Art of Letter Writing...

Letter writing? Always loved doing it and always love receivinga hand written letter. Sadly, I guess people don't write handwritten letters that much anymore due to e communication..of course e communication is a good thing but handwritten letters just feel so wholesome!

I recieved a beautiful love letter today from the man..really lovely and touched me deeply. So much time, energy, patience, beauty and love is contained in this letter, that i'll treasure it so much. There's something so romantic too about receiving a handwritten letter and I guess I'm just a sucker for old traditions on some level.

Off to Manchester I trek this weekend - 3 days of bliss with the lovely man. We have lots of plans up our sleeve. The Manchester Art Gallery, The Lowry, some beautiful park with woodlands and lakes, the local pub, a pub on Oxford Road that I want to return to which I don't think the Man has ever been to. A rock/punk pub that the man wants to show me. Alongside this, we have to find a way of getting a bath! The man's boiler has broken and he isn't sure it'll be up and running for when I arrive so apparently, a trip to his Mum and Dad's might been in the equation for bathing!

Life feels so wonderfully light and beautfiul right now and my reflection is staring back at me in the pure form of he who feels like my other soul..

Relics of the Past

I love old architecture and buildings and thus, remembered that a while back there was a wonderful programme on TV about restoring some of Britain's old buildings of which, Victoria Baths in Manchester was one. I remember way back then thinking how much I would love to see this Victorian relic and feel its atmosphere, decor and social divisive ways that the Victorians adhered to. So it looks like I will get the chance to see this place when I visit Manc. Talked to the man about this place and he's unaware of the building and then realised he lives really close to it!

http://www.victoriabaths.org.uk/

Both agreed that we'd like to spend alot of time wondering around looking at this piece of historical beauty! I sent a love card to the man yesterday..haven't sent one of those for a long time.. along with a poem that I wrote about him and me. Apparently, he has also wrote me a letter and I look forward to reading what he's wrote gosh! Wow, I await with a smile and I really am trying to contain myself until I next see him but it's bloody hard, my it is!

Greece? Here we come!

Finalised. Greece wandering.. not alone any longer but with my boyfriend... gosh. I told him that if we hate each other by August, which I actually think is highly unlikely, I am going to push him out of the aeroplane window! Gently gently, we said but hell, no, here we go again and we've now booked his flight. Luckily, my hotel room is a double and the owner is only charging us 10 euros extra for him to accompany me. Bloody cool stuff!
I'm so excited and I know in many ways, 3 months is far too long to wait but patience is the key. Still, I can't fuckin wait either and I was told the loveliest of things today.

'Anywhere in the world would be wonderful with you'

What a lucky woman I am - Goodness has finally arrived at my door.

Take it by the bollocks?

Fuckinell, so it's decided. The Manc and I are officially in a relationship! God. Ain't it amazing how things just happen without any forewarning? I was not, completely NOT looking for a relationship, mainly cos of the past few years of let downs. However, sometimes it's just not good enough to let a good thing pass you by and the Manc, I truly feel, is possibly my soul mate. Hard to describe but everything with him and about him is so easy, honest, open, loving and as we both put it to each other, our feelings are mutual.. Taking life by the bollocks? Truly am for life could end tomorrow and I want to experience him and all he is about, just as much as he does me..the words he has spoken to me have humbled and made me feel completely empowered and truly special..

Thus, we have decided to go away together. He will be booking a flight to Athens with me and coming on holiday.. Can't wait! We both want to hire bikes, swim, snorkel, walk, club, get drunk, visit another island, love, play and nurture. I'm trying to not get too ahead of myself and keeping it all real but you know, it all feels so very real anyway so why put a lid on the realness? And you know, thoughts of him make my belly and heart feel fluffy, warm and whole.. 'kinell!!!!!
Wow!!!!

Lightness and beginnings

A weekend that will not be forgotten very easily my friends. After deciding to spend our time together in Nottingham, the Manc man and I enjoyed a wonderful time together, we really did. I was given a beautiful gift on his arrival and one that I'll treasure!
I showed him the Trip to Jerusalem, of which of course we got rather inebriated. Saturday, we went for a long, long walk until late and then when we finally arrived back at mine, we went to eat out for Chinese and had a drink or too. Today, we went for Sunday dinner and then walked the canal into Nottingham with a few stops along the way. We got on so well and it is with sadness that I have to wait for 2 weeks until I next see him, this is a long time but patience, understanding and trust will surely be the key to dealing with this... I know I will at times, possibly panic and worry but I feel reassured.
Whilst in his company, I dreamt, for the first time in ages, about water..pools on pools of water, fearful to step in the water but calm and beautiful water..this to me, feels extremely symbollic!

I have a flutter in my heart, a light and beautiful flutter and I won't go into detail but when I say that I feel scared, you may get what I mean. I don't mean scared in the 'frightened of this person' sense, I mean in the 'letting my heart run free' sense. I don't know where this will all go and of course day by day is the key but everything feels so good. So very good...I may even have a travelling companion in August if I so desire and it looks to be a big possibilty. This man is a gent and has treated me like a princess..I'd forgotten what that feels like!
Yet everything feels so light, easy and he makes me laugh, lord does he make me laugh like you would not believe...I think this is the beginning of something.

Falling falling falling
--- said,
Head over heels
-- said,
Inspiring his art,
Opening her heart.
Embracing around the smoke,
Fighting back the urge of tears -
They choked.
Where will it all go?
Keep a lid on it.
In time.. lift the lid; fly high....

Art, Excitement, laughter and Ashes to ashes

My new Mancunian friend, at last, has allowed me to see his art work via cyberworld! He downplays it but I'm more than impressed with what he creates - I wish he'd let me see his portfolio of work but maybe once we've got to know each other better then he will..

So I'm so excited about seeing the manc this weekend, feel sick, anxious, happy, manic - all of the feelings that appear when you've met someone new to whom you start to like..
We've had a lot of contact since the weekend and he's as nervous as me about seeing each other - I'm glad he lets me know this, it feels reasuring on some level and indeed, good that he can communicate about such things. I guess we'll eat out, do some pubs, maybe visit art galleries or some nice old buildings and he's into graveyards! Can't believe that the manc is a graveyard fan! Awesome. So apart from all of the nerve crap, I've found alot of time to laugh about things and remember that life is for living in the light..and I do feel light in my heart right now- this is a good thing.

Ashes to Ashes? Been really enjoying it and I love the throwback to the 80s; music, fashion, humour, right on politics and challenging stereotypes..really good! I love the actress who plays Alex, I think she's brilliant and will make sure I watch every damn programme!

Here's to the weekend and whatever it may bring...

Wellis Fool Hip Hop and Romantic Ponderings..

Oh God, I feel sick, sick with nerves that I have arranged to see the Manc this weekend. I can't wait and neither can he!! We messaged each other and he phoned me from work - the man does not own a mobile! Fuckin excellent stuff! I like this and neither did I own one up until 3 years or so ago..He admitted to me that he thought the weekend was 'crackin'..! To hear that Mancunian accent aswell, blimey, you have NO IDEA!!! What a sweet soul - sharing the fact that he's nervous about seeing me again but can't wait! Wow.. all a bit exciting and something lovely to look forward to! The weird thing is, although I feel nervous, I also feel really calm about him and have a good feeling with this - like it's just easy. We're planning to meet each other once decided who is travelling to where, head for a drink and then maybe something to eat!

Anyway, meanwhile back in grounded world, I have come across a good Hip Hop Artist called Wellis Fool. A complete and brilliant wordsmith and indeed, music maker. Go check him out if you have an incline for Hip Hop. It's refreshing to hear lyrics of the politico type and this guy is about politics and change in the world, hence me bigging the man up! Good things come to those who practice goodness? Yes, I think it does...

Mmm Hmmm camping, nature and a potential spark for a new friendship..

What a great weekend in Sara world. My friend and I went off to The Peaks for our nature worship and indeed, for my love of walking up humoungous hills! I climbed Hollins Cross and then over to mam Tor, all alone, all in peace and all feeling so wonderfully free and happy!

Later on in our camping break, a guy struck up conversation with me asking if I'd like to play ball later. Of course, I said, and after much fun in the pub, met up with him to play ball! However, we ended up going for a moonlit walk around the village, sat on a small hill talking about life and philosophising as you do, headed back to my tent for a drink and stayed up all night under the stars talking. He is, I might add, a dear!
A Mancunian salt of the earth dear. He reminded me about the sweetness and sensitivities of men and made it quite clear that he would like to be in touch with me for camping, walks, visits to Nottingham or Manchester. I await.

But you know, I hope this friendship develops, I don't know why but my gut feeling about this guy is one of honesty, truth, love and sincerity. He's also a father, has 3 kids who he sees regularly, loves art, loves walking and old buildings, cycles and doesn't own a car. Sounds great. The man is a gent, he and his mates helped me and my friend with our bags when heading back to catch our train. We hugged and said our farewells but I hope our farewell is a new hello. and I feel excited and alive..ain't it weird when you meet a new person and you just 'click'? Weird that we felt so at home in each other's company..who knows, could be a long and fun friendship about to develop and in all honesty, I really do want to see him again,if not for the pure laugh factor cos he makes me smile and he made me laugh and laugh and laugh!

Ahh Life...

Life is just seeming to get a whole lot better. I think the darkness is lifting and I guess this is because we change mindsets and circumstances. Today has been a good one, working with some learners on Graffiti art and Egyptian influenced art work. The eye of Horus and the Ankh. I enjoy teaching art and indeed, facilitating and inspiring artistic thought!

Yoga is certainly great for me. I feel grounded, confident and back to my old self. Of cpurse, when exterior problems from others have been a factor then no wonder our life and emotions become affected on some level!

My son's Dad and I have also agreed our duties to our son over the summer period. This means that I get some lone time whilst my son shares some good time with his Father during the holidays. Because of this, as you know, I have gone and flippantly booked myself a lone flight to Athens whereby I will then catch a ferry to one of the closer Aegean islands, hire a bike and do some sightseeing, swimming, beaching and of course the obligatory night time partying Greek style! So many people have asked me why I would go alone. But you know, travelling alone really does not bother me. In many ways, I find it exciting, a challenge and good fun and most of the time, you can guarantee that I will meet new people along the way. I can't afford this trip in all honesty but to hell with that, you only live with once and I don't often get a week alone so, hell for leather I say.

A good friend of mine has mentioned the possibility of going away in the next couple of weeks, a new town for the weekend or camping. There's been no firm decisions as yet but it all sounds good to me.

My son? He's a lucky little fellow. I paid for him and his Dad (as his Dad's bday present)to go and watch the last Forest match this Saturday. This is the first time my son has been to a match with his dad and I know he's looking forward to it; they connect on this level and thus, it only seems right that my son chose this as a birthday pressie for his Dad. Thank God they have a son and father relationship, it's so important in my opinion and it's sort of positive that me and his Dad can still maintain some civilness and mature approach to each other, even though we have been split for such a long time. In many ways, this is a blessing, it really is.

Swine flu? This seems worrying to me. The Mexicans are having a hard time of it, so it seems..I wonder where this will all lead to? Makes you really wonder..

Relationships? I've decided that I'm best out of them for the time being now. It is the only way forward for me in all reality right now. I put so much emotional energy into them, especially the last one, I fall in love and then it seems it gets all pushed back at me and then I get hurt..some people just don't like to tell truths so for now, I think the best is to be free and single and then there is no chance or risk of getting emotionally burnt.
This part of the lyrics from the song Turquoise make me think about how soft we amd the heart can be and thus, we need to protect it..

Your smile beams like sunlight on a gull's wing
And the leaves dance and play after you
Take my hand and hold it as you would a flower
Take care with my heart, oh darling, she's made of glass


If I get asked out for a drink or meal etc, then maybe so. But when a deeper involvement is the case, I really am going to be picky from now on, take my time to REALLY get to know what the person is about and make my decsion then and if ever, ever again, there are any 'still loved' ex'es in the equation, I'm running away as fast as fuck!!

Thursday, I have a whole day in the city. Off to yoga again, off to visit a friend in the city for a small while, who I haven't seen in quite a long time. I'll then take myself for something to eat somewhere cheapish and nice, maybe chuck in a bit of art gallerying in the city, then off to a union meeting until early evening! An action and productive day for sure..