Sunday, April 29, 2007

Me and my manic tendencies returning

I've always had a bit of a 'manic' streak in me, which in many ways has manifested in impulsivity and throwing caution to the wind.
Anyway, part of this weekend ended up with my manic mood returning.I've had a hard week, as my previous post stated and this all poured out on Friday night as I sat and watched a few episodes of Six Feet Under..I wept myself to sleep!
Anyway Saturday morning, my mood started to lift somewhat when I decided to get proactive with the household chores that needed doing. As I sat at my pc sorting some bits I needed to sort out, I had a massive urge to pull up my old bedroom carpet;it's old, dusty, ugly and everytime I look at it, I feel a huge sense of nausea! So pull it up I did.
Now this was no easy feat - you have to realise that furniture was left somewhat in it's place whilst I pulled the carpet up. I actually cut it up in 4 quarters and then literally pulled it from under the furniture! By Christ was this hard work but the tugging and pulling and panting and sweating, worked wonders on my weary brow!
I now have carpetless, wooden flooring - I like it, but I need to sand the boards for them to look better..
I then spoke to a friend on Sunday and the conversation with her made me decide to book a weekend away in Edale again, in a few weeks time, youth hostelling and walking..I can't afford it, as I'm VERY broke right now but fuck it, I'm going to walk and get off on the beauty that surrounds me, when I'm there.
I calmed down last night when Shane Meadows reminded me about the simple things in life via his films. I enjoyed the South Bank Show interview with him and Melvyn Bragg. I love the fact that Shane Meadows is SO down to earth and hardly ever uses 'big named actors'. This to me makes me respect this man even more and indeed, this act of authenticity keeps his films fresh and indeed gives people a chance to maybe, move up or indeed change direction in their careers.
I can't wait to see his new film - 'This Is England', hopefully this Thursday I'll be off to view this film. I await with excitement and enthusiasm.

Friday, April 27, 2007


This week has been tough; I've been made to question myself, time and time again. I've nearly had 2 major fall outs this week, with 2 people in my life - both men. Fallout 1 with the person who's been in my heart for so long, fallout 2, my ex - rambling down the same old road that I've travelled down now for over 8months.
I'm very, very tired and extremely sick of it all.
My mind and body feels like I could could just walk away from everything today, I'm so fed up of being too kind and understanding of everyone else, when in fact in reality, no one really is that kind and understanding about me, apart from my close female friends..

I remember whilst I was in Edale, I felt free and thought that if I had no responsibilties, I'd be out of this city now! Living a new life and away from the ongoing crisis's that seem to frequent my life on a regular level..I don't actually think I do any harm to anyone..I know I don't..I'm sick of the ups and downs that I'm continually feeling because of other people's shit and lack of thoughfulness!
If this is gonna be how life is, forevermore than a large dose of morphine would be welcomed!

Sorry for this extremely negative rant but you know how I like to get it off my chest! Ignore it too, if it makes you feel better! I would hate to make you guys feel like you've just been hit by a 10ton bus, courtesy of my crappy writing!

I guess the best for me right now is to be very much in peace...

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Love Action?

I've recently bought season 5, box set of Six Feet Under. Tonight I watched episode 6. It was pretty sad because the death in this series, was of one of Aunt Sarah's best friends Fiona, who was also Nate's first love and who deflowered him! He met her when he was 15 years old and she, 32years..her love, as he described it, made him 'see' all of her, whereas before that, he'd never 'seen' any of the girls he'd fumbled around with.

What struck a chord for me, was when he said that love isn't about what you feel, but what you do. This seems odd but it wasn't meant in an odd way; By this he meant that love makes you do things you wouldn't already do - he used to write her (Fiona) letters, poems and the like - she touched his heart deeply and he really loved her..But, what he did say was that you can't waste your time giving your love to someone who doesn't want it, when someone else could find you and be giving it to you..

I guess what I always think, is that actions do speak louder than words and always have done I guess.

Six Feet Under for me, is like a breath of grounding fresh air, that should be part of everyone's viewing!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Way to Blue by Nick Drake - I adore this song

Don't you have a word to show what may be done
Have you never heard a way to find the sun
Tell me all that you may know
Show me what you have to show
Won't you come and say
If you know the way to blue?

Have you seen the land living by the breeze
Can you understand a light among the trees
Tell me all that you may know
Show me what you have to show
Tell us all today
If you know the way to blue?

Look through time and find your rhyme
Tell us what you find
We will wait at your gate
Hoping like the blind.

Can you now recall all that you have known?
Will you never fall
When the light has flown?
Tell me all that you may know
Show me what you have to show
Won't you come and say
If you know the way to blue?

Monday, April 23, 2007

The irony

The irony of the picture,
Caught in a moment, forever
Out of deep love -
For another.
Used, for the benefit
Of another.
Irony becomes the picture..

Unscrupulous emotion?
Nausea dwells inside.
Deep down inside; a pit -
I imagine hell feels like this.
Dark, unfeeling, nausea, stench,

The meaningless of flesh
Given to one another..
In a moment of starvation
A sad and lonely salvation.

The picture it travels..
Through the eyes of others..
Not into their souls..
But shallow for their holes.
All to maul..
Grab a piece? If they please.
The irony of the picture
The irony indeed.

Well I never....

You wouldn't believe what I came across last night whilst online, at my friend's house. I won't say it here but it's deffo put a few things in perspective for me and indeed, pushed me to clear out the 'old cobwebs' so to speak, metaphorically! Blimey, I never!
What a shocker too..I went to bed more than unhappy but then I realised this has to happen. I also had the most bizarre dream yesterday morning which had me searching someone's flat for something and being shocked...So there you go..I found what I was supposed to online, of all paces and quite by accident!

So, here's to a happy future, a goodbye to troubled years and onwards forward I go, down a new path in life..Blimey! I await.

Sunday, April 22, 2007


I was talking to a mate last night about her ex boyfriend. Basically, whilst they were together, she found out he'd been using AFF to contact other women and indeed meet them for sex. This he admitted and now, they're split up..she couldn't stomach the lies he'd told her and indeed the deceit..

Now don't get me wrong, I'm open minded and the like but when people feel such a need for 'meaningless sex', I just don't get it.
Sex to me, has never and never will be, a meaningless act..I've always been of the belief that you build on sex with a person anyway, who you share a meaningful relationship with anyway...not different random strangers. I guess humans are all so different really and have different needs and indeed different capacities to hurt each other.

What a depressing thought for a Sunday.

Anyway, my mate's just rang me and even told me she'd found her ex's profile on this site! Deary me, what a nightmare...saying that, she laughed out loud at his comments that he'd written cos they were NOT TRUE! Gosh, it takes all sorts I guess..I'm off to hers now, cos she's dying to show me this ridiculousness! GULP!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Finding me

My desire, my energy, my love, my fire
Deny my love, cheapen it, refuse that it exists
I can understand why
I think I know've told me why,
You keep telling me why.
Apparently, it goes along the lines of
'I.... Need to escape from..
How very altruistic of you?
How about,
'I.... don't want to escape from...

You don't always fancy me
Fair enough,
I say to myself.
I have unrealistic expectations maybe?
Of you
Of relationships, love, life, men.

I read today about Jake Gyllenhall.
He reminded me about energy.
Energy existing
Energy alive, between people
In the universe.
I know WE have energy
I feel it, I sense it, I love it.
From day one
Energy fired away, took a hold of our cells
And worked it's magical ways.
It grasped ME and YOU.
Maybe then, it's all about the energy?
And what it does to you?
Too strong?
Too scary?
Too deep?

But then again
Maybe it's all about the TRUST
Not being able to?
Your mind playing games on you
Telling you that I'm an -
'Don't go near her, Dont let her get too deep, under your skin'
Says the mind.

I can UNDERSTAND this.
BUT don't you realise that
MY life
You pushed me away - fair enough.I understand.
My life is less complicated now

You came to ME
I didn't ask YOU to.
YOU wanted to.
Wanted you to come to me,
To find me.
Find me, you did.
Begged me to see you again.
I denied, I refrained, I succombed.
I saw you again.
and again
and agin
and again.
And so we go on and here we are today
Still no closer.
OK, we know each other better
We know each others' anger.
Which buttons to press
And press, have we...
My sweet,

I'm so ecstatically, fanatically and as Bjork says,
Violently happy

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Take me out of the city, OK Nick, I know you'll do it for me...

God, I'm so yearning for the countryside since my arrival back. I feel so 'crowded out' by being back at work and indeed working in the city! Argghhh
Anyway on the positive, I received my Nick Drake CD today - Five Leaves Left. Wow,it's sooooo good to listen to his voice and music. He certainly takes me to a nicer, more airy feeling that's for sure and reminds about nature, even if I'm not there in it and even if there's a fair bit of melancholy thrown in to his music too.

I adore the Cello Song - so beautiful and I adore the lyrics. WOW!!!

Strange face, with your eyes
So pale and sincere.
Underneath you know well
You have nothing to fear.
For the dreams that came to you when so young
Told of a life
Where spring is sprung.

You would seem so frail
In the cold of the night
When the armies of emotion
Go out to fight.
But while the earth sinks to its grave
You sail to the sky
On the crest of a wave.

So forget this cruel world
Where I belong
I'll just sit and wait
And sing my song.
And if one day you should see me in the crowd
Lend a hand and lift me
To your place in the cloud.

Ahh, this should keep me happy this weekend, unless I decide to bugger off again on a little rambling adventure cos I sure as hell feel like it!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

First week back

First week back at work and already I've started to feel fed up! I guess a holiday break from work always does this. I'm terribly overdrawn but I don't give a damnn right now because I had a great Saturday night, so that's sort of made up for the darkness that overcame me on returning to work.
I would love to spend more time with the person I love, but I guess this isn't so easy for him, as he likes his own space a lot. I do too, but I also like seeing him a lot, I guess that's something that will happen if it's meant to anyway.
I have nothing much planned for this weekend, a friend Helen, has invited me over to her place if I want to on Friday, her Spanish boyfriend has offered to cook some Spanish food..I guess I'll go as it'll be a nice chilled night.
Saturday, I'll swim and take things easy and maybe have a quiet one in and save a few pennies!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

With me

On waking
You're there, in my head
Reminding me
that you exist
In my heart,
My soul
My skin
My bones.
The feeling of waiting
Is like no other.
It smothers
My eyes
My spirit
My smile.
When I go to sleep
You're there - in my mind
Reminding me
Of my depth.
I sigh
I cry
I miss you
More than you believe..
In my dreams
You're there, floating around,
Finding me
Loving me
Giving me
Your love..

If only you'd believe it..
These words I write for you
If only you'd read it
Understand my love's so true..


Since my arrival back from being in the country and getting wide spaces to refresh my mind, it's given me the much needed strength to reflect about many things in my life. My reflection is somewhat introverted and staying that way because I feel it's the best for me, to be as such right now.
One things for sure, I realise that my life over the last 4 years or so, has been quite tough and I've had quite a lot to deal with really considering the fact that my Mum died too, at a time when I was also in some sort of my own suffering.

So, it's good to reflect and to make a mind's map about how I'd like the future to be for myself... These things are very much in my mind right now and indeed the peace and serenity I experienced whilst away, has brought much needed reflection and indeed hopefully a realisation of these things..

I've also been saddened to hear about the shooting of the students in the US, that is sprawled right over the news right now. To be honest, I can't bear to listen to it at the moment. I'm sick of hearing about all of the bad things that happen around us and I know it's a tragic loss and completely awful, but maybe I'm getting numb to hearing so much about death and violence. I also know the media will make a complete meal over the whole episode therefore I'm choosing to sit back and reflect about this tragedy...Interestingly enough, do they make as much of a frenzy over the innocent people who get killed in wars on a daily level? No they don't and it irritates me, oh so much..Guess that's what 'gatekeeping' is all about really. Gosh I sound so cynical!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Nick Drake Loveliness and Composting!

Don't know if any of you guys are Nick Drake fans but I've been recently getting into his stuff again, after years of neglecting him. I've even gone and ordered some of his old CDs from aswell, at a fiver a throw!
He was such a talented singer/songwriter/guitarist in my opinion, and had such an affinity with nature in his lyrics, I'm sure I once read that he was influenced by William Blake's poetry..I may be wrong but it'd fit the style of content of his lyrics, that's for sure.
It's sad that he died so young and indeed suffered so badly with depression. Saying that, although depression can be a negative, I also see it as a positive because I do feel it energises and helps the creative juices to flow in some people;indeed with regards to songwriting and poetry, words come from such a deep and dark place possibly unbeknown to those who don't at times, suffer depression, or a deeper way of thinking. I await his CDs with excitement.

I've also been a tad flippant, since my Youth Hostelling expedition last week, I've decided to purchase a kitchen composter! I gained this inspiration after seeing and using one at Edale YHA. It makes complete sense to purchase one cos not only will all of my food waste be utilised in a positive way, my garden and soil will benefit too! I can't believe that all food waste can be put into this magical machine and used for my garden afterwards! Great stuff. I await this little wonder with excitement too..

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Beloved bed sheets

I've had a great weekend guys, truly great. I chilled yesterday apart from a beautiful, refreshing swim. I then met my dear friend Liza in the City, whereby we vowed not to get too arseholed. Haha, we did!
We had such a laugh because strange things were happening to me in the form of things getting attached to me, without my knowledge.
Thing 1 - a long piece of toilet roll attached itself to my shoe without my noticing. I proceeded to walk around a pub with said attachment until my friend remarked that I had it stuck to me. We laughed out loud about this.
Thing 2 - we sat in a rather 'cool' venue, a cinema cafe bar and I got up to buy a drink. As I walked to the bar, I could feel something swinging around my bum and thigh area. I looked down but couldn't see anything. I then felt the back of my trousers and my jacket had, somehow, attached itself to my trousers and was hanging all over my bum and back of my legs.
I died of embarrassment but also laughter! I couldn't stop laughing about this.
We then headed to a great dubstep night and by 2.30 I was getting tired and decided to get the 3am nightbus home. However, I stopped on the way to buy some food in my rather inebriated state. Out of nowhere, I got the strongest of urges to ring the person I love. A force just came over me in between ordering food! It was weird but felt so right. So I chatted to him and decided to pay him a visit.
I enjoyed being with him so much, he made me laugh and I felt so warm to be with him. He's a true beauty to me, he really is... I didn't want to leave him this morning but he was sound alseep and looked as gorgeous as ever, whilst he slept. At times like this, I want to eat him! lol! I couldn't get back to sleep so I felt it best to get to my own bed..I also wanted to emsure my eldest son was OK..I knew he would be but I sometimes feel, I have to make sure of this.
So I sadly departed, got home, thought about how much love is in my heart and fell into a peaceful and dreamy, deep sleep...

Friday, April 13, 2007

Oh Fuck! Do I know I'm back in Nottingham again.

Well had a wonderful break away from the shit hole that Nottingham sometimes feels like. Here's some piccys that I thought I'd share with you. I love the one of the village with all of the mist rising;it was taken at 6.45am from the YHA Castleton's attic room - where I was sleeping! Gorgeous.
I managed to do a really long walk up to Hollin's Cross, along the ridge to Mam Tor and then back down again and into Castleton Village. Not that long I guess, in walking standards cos it only took my son and I, 2 hours to walk it.I also love Youth Hostelling. I find it more sociable, fun and better for kids. Edale YHA was great too, got talking to a scandinavian guy which was nice to chat in Danish a wee bit. Although the hostel was such long way from the village in Edale, I didn't mind. In fact I loved the 30min walk into the village and so healthy too!
Anyway, I had a great time, I wish I could move over this way but I can't, yet!
I also had good time to clear my head of worries and the like, whilst I was away.
I thought about the person I love a lot. I sent him a text whilst sat on top of a big hill.
However, I realise that my love for him is so much stronger than his love for me. This has become clear to me after we've sent each other some personal messages. I never stop fancying him, sadly, he does me. How sad is it to know that the person you love doesn't always fancy you? The person you want to 'find you' is him but he doesn't want to 'find you'? God life feels like shit today! Dear oh, dear me. I want to bloody escape again back to the countryside! Fuckin bollocks I tell thee!BOLLOCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry people, my posting will hoepfully end happier next time. I just don't think the person I love has any concept of how deep, my love for him runs inside of me.I guess I need to get a litlle more real, have some time-out and re-evaluate many things..

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Hooray, off to the country!

In a few days time I'm off to Derbyshire - 2 different youth hostels to sleep in and muchos walking to do. I'm leaving my eldest son at home cos he decided not to come. Luckily, my ex has offered to stay here whilst I'm away cos I'm a tad worried about leaving him alone for 3 days and at least I know he has adult company and indeed, someone to look out for him and ensure he doesn't get up to too much mischief!
So, I can't wait to be out in the wide open. Me and my son, on our own, rambling around on hills and in streams and enjoying nature's many offerings!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

The Idea of The Nuclear family

I wonder why the 'Nuclear Family' was termed as such? R.D Laing implied that the nuclear family had the capability to be like a tennis game, with the kids being privvy to the onslaught of their battling parents..Parents playing the tennis game with the kids being the tennis ball - batted around and the like. Maybe the term is because family life has the tendency to be a tad toxic at times, hence the reference to all things 'nuclear'.
The reason I'm talking about this on this fine Saturday is because I watched the film Frida last night and I've also read a wondeful article in the paper about a woman who loved all of her 'mothers'.
Firstly, Frida Kahlo lived a particlarly fascinating life but had such pain on an emotional and physical level. Indeed she fell in love unconditionally with Diego Rivera, a womanising giant, who in fact too, was very much in love with Frida but acted on his 'animal' impulses, as with time, so did she. Funnily enough, when the tables were turned and Frida gave herself to others, especially a man, Diego would be insanely jealous, furious and heartbroken and yet his behaviour was to him, acceptable. Over time, this couple managed to maintain a life and it's clear to see, did really love each other;lived in seperate quarters and came together for fun, discussion, love etc. Not the family/couple norm I guess, compared totoday's equivalent. In a way I admire Frida's strength and can totally relate to the depth of love she had for Diego..they were best friends and in so many ways complimented each other. I guess what I'm saying is, who are we as people to judge anyone's way of living?
Moving on from this, the article I read today was so inspiring. The woman involved, had been brought up, over time, by 3 different mothers. An adoptive mother, a step mother and then partly met her birth mother. She loved all of these women greatly and in different ways. Her attack on Thatcher's/new right ideology of 'family life' was eloquently addressed and indeed refuted. She also reminded me that so many families do have such intricate 'make ups' and that as long as a child is loved and cared for then so what? I totally agree..
I had a 'nuclear family' upbringing, however my Mum and Dad fostered many kids and I loved it! I loved to met new kids and share my bedroom with the girls that came to stay at our house. I guess I've always had the sensitive, empathetic qualities passed onto me by lovely Mum. My own kids aren't in a 'nuclear family' scenario. Two different fathers for both kids, an impatient Mum who loses her temper fairly often but does show them love and care. Even though both relationships have failed, I think my kids are pretty much OK. They have good relationships with both fathers and indeed, so do I. From my perspective, if kids can see that you have a general respect, care and compassion for your ex's then this makes for a smoother ride..and indeed a lack of negative, bad feelings on all sides. And, even though I'm very much magically 'in love' with the person I write my poetry about, and we haven't shared the same sort of experiences as my ex's, I'm OK about this because the love I feel for him, is such a forceful, deeper and more stronger feeling, than I've ever felt before. It allows me to remember who I am, it awakens me, it reminds me that the passion I have always had inside of me from being a girl to a woman, has at last been realised.
So, we all have our quirky ways of being, living, interracting, coping, loving and I'm glad we do, because I fear the world would be such a prescriptive,boring and even more judgemental place, if we didn't..

Friday, April 06, 2007

Spring... the beauty and forces of you

Spring is such a beautiful time, full of renewal and rebirth of everything around us. Nature is just so gorgeous at this time, with leaves beginning to bud on tress and blossom bearing its all. Wow! I went for a bike ride today with my son and we did a spot of photography between us.. The duck picture was taken by my son and the blossom et al by me!
I've had such a lovely, strange sort of week. Early on in the week, I had the 'force' that I feel about my loved one, feeling really strong and intense again..almost like something is magnetising me and reminding me about the deep love that I have in my heart for him. Hopefully, I'll be seeing him tomorrow which I can't wait for because I know I'll feel giddy, so excited and happy to see him! I always do and always have's never changed.
I've also been busy with my son but also maintaining my friendships too. I cycled into the city last night and watched some acoustic music for an hour or so and then went to a bar for a few more drinks.I cycled back at 12am, which was great cos the roads were pretty quiet and empty. I do love the feeling that cycling in the dark gives you - it's something else, it really is;a freedom that is well appreciated in these hectic, prescribed times.
I've been listening to Nick Drake too quite a bit this week, love his stuff, his music does something strange to me, that's for sure.
Have a restful, chocolatey Easter, people xx

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

April Highs and Lows

The Highs and lows we find ourselves in, never fail to amaze me. Today has been a heavenly day on many levels and also a reflective, sad day. I received my council tax bill - late! £74 a month now and this has increased by a tenner each month! Mind you, it's cheaper than when I lived with my ex, cos I get single person's allowance, which I guess helps quite a bit really. Council tax aside, I went into the city to buy a new jacket for when I go away with my youngest son to Edale. I met up with a dear friend, who recently moved to Australia but who's now back in the UK because of her partner's stupid,selfish, egocentric behaviour. What is it with some men and their tendencies to be selfish little boys who quite frankly, never seem to grow up? What is it? Please men, enlighten me will you?

Anyway she's had to move back to the UK with no furniture, belongings and the like and is missing her ex terribly but can't go back to the situation and his lying. I felt like crying for her because I could really sense her feelings of loss and sadness. She's had a tough old time of it really throughout her adult life and I'm sort of worried about her but I feel she'll make a new start and do OK. She's managed to find a place in Glastonbury to live and will be around like-minded people that's for sure..She's a deeply spiritual person and I know she'll connect with others like her pretty well.
So although she shed tears and looked so sad, we agreed there's a light at the end of this chaos and that hopefully her path will be a smoother one for the future.

It was lovely to see her in the short time that we were together and I think we'll actually build more on our own friendship, which is always a good thing.

On walking through the city, early evening, I was pleasantly taken in by the beauty of the sunshine against the lovely old buildings and the stillness that one finds at this time of the day.I love the new fountain and the new square, it's so open, refreshing and welcoming in many respects.
As I sat on the bus, on my way home, I noticed the most beautiful cherry blossom trees in full bloom..sparkling their colours. Gosh, blossom is just so makes me want to run underneath it and look up at it forever more! If I ever get married in this lifetime, then I want a spring wedding, under cherry blossom, in the early evening..Wow!

Tuesday, April 03, 2007


I miss you,
I do
I love you,
I know
I think about you
You don't want a...
You say.
Maybe I'm just not -
girlfriend Material?
Not young
Too fucked
Too Fat?
Too manic?
Too mad?
Not polite
Not nice
Not quiet
Not pretty?
Not sexy?
Too fragile
Too soft
Too deep
Too scary
Or maybe..
You're too scared
To simply be.
To enjoy.
To love.
To feel free.
To feel worthy
To feel loved
To keep the blanket
of fear -
Wrapped around you
Out of sightly.
Do the rightly

Pictoral dreams

I'm a big lover of dreaming and dreams;last night was a night full of extremely visual colours dreams. Dream 1, I was with my youngest son, in an old derelict, Victorian warehouse type building. We had to get to the top floor and so, decided to take a lift upwards. The lift was dark and had no lighting, so in the dream, felt rather scary and eeeire. Once at the top of the building, we wandered along some long corridors, laden with dust from years gone by...
Dream 2, I was walking down a lane with grass and forest on either side, the grass was covered with beautiful, golden orange leaves. As I walked along the verges, I kept kicking the leaves up into the air and watching them fall slowly again to the ground.The colours of the leaves in the dream were so bright and beautiful..
I don't know what the dreams represent, although I always search for symbolism I guess, in my dreams but dream 1, felt dark and rather scary although there was hope within this dream, whilst dream 2 was full of light, brightness a feeling of being 'alive' and!

Monday, April 02, 2007

Thought for the day

Tiredness and drowsiness become me after the hectic weekend. Luckily, I'm now on holiday for a few weeks, so time to relax and take things easy for a bit..

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Immortal rose

The love I have
For you
Never dies.
An everlasting rose
never fading-
Full blooming..
There -
In my mind -
inside my forehead,
My soul
My Being
At one
With you


Ahh what a wonderful weekend I'm having and to top it all, the weather is just so astoundingly beautiful. I've just gone and booked an extra day away,. so that gives me the grand old total of 3 days up in the Peaks. 2 days in Edale, 1 day in Castleton - all for the cost of £72! Bloody bargain!
Had a fantastic night out last night dancing and the like and bumped into a guy I was introduced to at a festival last summer, who's a dab hand at playing the sitar. We chatted for quite a bit about how his music was progressing and I was pleased to hear that he's doing a lot of performances at Asian weddings and the like..Bless him. Anyway, if I have a birthday party he's offered to play some music for me, which would be just wonderful cos I'm a sucker for eastern music and I know it'd make my birthday party really special.So time will tell on that one cos I need to get my shit into gear re.organising it!
Hopefully off out later today to chill a bit in the city..may indeed cycle in and enjoy this gorgeous weather a la cycle!
Happy April 1st people..