Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Revisiting the girl mother inside of me....

Motherhood and family life..I have forgotten what this is like on a 'large level' if one can explain it this way; by this I mean, having more than just myself and my son to think about..but indeed, 3 children and a man. Yes, this weekend was the first time my partner's kids visited 'my gaff', as they call it in Manchester! I was a little worried as to how I would cope with this sort of invasion and my space being host to small kids again and indeed, my head and heart getting into a different way of functioning but I am happy to say, all went very well. The kids are extremely loving towards me, taken me on wholeheartedly seemingly and this weekend gave me the chance to really bond with all 3 children on an individual level and in their own rights as little people. The youngest child, now comes up and likes to be hugged by me and the middle child, insists that I am the one who brushes her hair! This girl thing? It's a whole new ball game to me, as I have only been around boys as of course, my kids are boys!
We did many activities from walking, boating, paddling, visiting nature and museums, glass painting, baking cakes, watching films, sitting in front of a garden fire and reflecting... The man is a beautiful Father, very loving, firm but fair, kind and openhearted and this to me, is a beautiful trait and indeed, shows to me such emotional maturity and loyalty.
I felt gutted when they all left to return to the North West and cried all the way back home. Why? You may well ask?
Well, I guess this weekend has reminded me what I love about family life, about how if one is truly happy with another soul then life flows freely and well, that I will never have children with the man as we both do not want any more kids and in some ways this brings a sense of sadness that we will never experience this together but on the positive we both have much to offer fellow children and this is indeed a positive thing, that I don't like to say goodbye to the man who I am deeply in love with, who understands me, who loves me, who listens and acts on promises for me, who is loyal, giving and kind...this essentially tears at my heart. But I feel truly blessed and I feel blessed that his children have taken to me with open hearts full of love too..

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