Spoke to my son's Dad and luckily, he's going to stay at mine with my son whilst I attend the union training course. I don't really like him to stay at mine and I know he doesn't either but at the end of the day, it ain't about mine or his feelings but what is best for our son and getting to school if he's better or indeed, being in his own space with his toys and things..
Google street map? Have you seen this facility? I don't like it - how imposing is it? I can see my front room, my windows are open and thank God I'm not shagging or anything in the view of the window when the picture was taken! Talk about invasion of privacy! I guess it's good if you're trying to find a place for holiday and how to get there and what it looks like but apart from that, it's too scary!
Everything is coming into perspective for me. I can't believe how terribly destructive and dishonest humans can be..I think I need to have my antenna completely alert from now on, either that or becomne a fuckin nun! Don't get me wrong, my feelings for the guy are really strong but I ain't being no pushover and when you don't get honesty from a person then sometimes, you have to do a little bit of your own investigation to find out the truth - even if, the truth can fucking hurt. Rather truth than lies for sure though..Rather love than hate but maybe the time has now come to selectively choose who I fall in love with? Can you do that? I don't know cos I'm a believer that we have no control over love, do we? I really am confused as can be seen..Ah well, bring on the self love! But you know, deep down, someone out there is walking towards my destiny and they will not fuck me over or play childish games.And so the world turns...
1 comment:
Honesty... Now there's a thought :-)
When I was an active alcoholic I lied - I lied all the time to everyone. Lies just became part of my life.
I cannot judge this situation or person from the outside but I'll share some of my own experience.
I lied largely because I hated myself - I lied to myself! If I was such a shit then how would you like me as I was, so clearly the best thing was to lie, cos if I lied you might like the lie I was giving you and then I'd think I ought to be like the lie and that'd sort me out... Confused? I sure as hell was!
Then one day I found that I didn't actually have to do that all any more. Relief!
However I still lie - I can't help it. Sometimes it's just a natural defence the has been there so much for so long that the lie is out before I know it and the damage it done. Also my memory is screwed and some of the stuff that happened way back - I can't figure if it was a lie or not any more, so some things get perpetuated in lies as I can't figure the truth out.
Enough rambling - I'm not defending or justifying just putting one point of view across, namely that in the middle of it all I had no idea what was truth and what wasn't anymore and thought I was helping me and others by continuing to lie.
Best of luck going forward - it will get sorted some way. Hope you feel better soon and enjoy the union course.
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