I wish the clock could turn back

I know it's stupid to wish things but I wish I could turn the clock back in some ways. I wish that the last few years wouldn't have been full of so many ups and downs. I wish the person I loved would love me, how I love him. I wish he wanted to share many times with me but he doesn't. I don't care that at times he's been wrong to me, because these things can be worked on and improved.
I wish he trusted me because deep down, I feel he doesn't trust me. I can understand this feeling of mistrust, especially when people in the past have done things to cause a person to mistrust. I think people have been hurtful to him and caused him alot of grief and sadness.
I've always been true to my feelings about him and I've always wanted to share so much more with him. I guess, I'm being forced to depart him. I guess I need to try and stop thinking about him..but this is difficult for me cos he's on my mind everyday. He's on my mind when I go out at night and day. I miss him when I go out, I see his face in my mind and noone new, who I might randomly chat to and who shows an interest in me, seems to ever reach the part in me, that he does.It's like he's always a part of me, in some weird way.

Therefore in some ways, I wish the clock was back to where it was 2 years ago but without the complications that were there then and thus, I could experience the most touching moments with him, that lit my heart and soul back then and indeed over two years, again.

I also wish that we could have something more in the future but he's made it clear that I'm not a part of his future on a 'relationship' level. I know we'll always be friends but what is a person, who loves someone deeply, supposed to do with that information? What should the next step be for me? When I don't see him I miss him so much. I've dreamed so many times about being with him and sharing so many experiences, that I'm staring to think that I'm continually living in a dream world. I wish soemtimes he'd just say to me
Let's just go for it and see what happens, throw caution and insanity to the wind and go for it. Take risks and enjoy the ride...I'm a deluded optimist, it seems.