Oh what a day

Today started off great - the demo in London was good and had a great carnival spirit. T'was great to hear many of the anti war and peace movement speakers too, especially Bruce Kent, Mark Thomas, George Galloway amongst others. My friend and I then decided to come back into the city for drinking. I knocked back a fair few doubles and because I hadn't eaten much, I got rather tipsy, rather quick. I bumped into a dear friend in the pub who introduced me to his mate - telling me that his mate thought I was lovely! Swoon aside, he did seem a rather sweet guy, has kids from a previous relationship and seemed to want to get to know me better. I'd rather hang fire with male interests right now cos I want to think about myself a little more right now. However, it was nice to get some attention and indeed feel that I still attract!
My friend and I met up with her boyfriend and ended up going to Bleuprint, one of my fave clubs. Sadly, the queue was enormous and we were told it could be a good while before we'd get in. So, we headed off to another club, which in some ways, I was reluctant to go to as I knew I may well bump into my loved one and actually, felt that I'd rather let him do his own thing.
Anyway, yeps he was there. We chatted some and I danced and left him to his own devices. We both ended up leaving together but then I started to ask him loads of questions and just felt like I needed some answers, which weren't that forthcoming in many ways. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I felt like I'd ended the night on a bad note and feel regretful really, in many ways.Luckily, my mate was worried about me and her sweet boyfriend gave me a lift home.
I got home and felt sad, regretful, fed up with myself and worried about my loved one. I decided to delete my Myspace blog in an act of 'spontanious hate' for cyber world.What an idiot I am. I now have to rebuild it or maybe, I should just forget it actually - what's the point in it really? There ain't any really I guess.

I'm also actually sick of the futility of clubbing and getting too drunk. Watching people off their heads and being all loved up isn't fun to me, they wouldn't be the same when they're straight and this annoys me - there's more to life than this. There certainly is.
So, new start for me. New leaf, new focus, new everything. Time to let things change.