Thoughts and reflections...

Three years ago tomorrow, was the changing day of my life, in many ways, in that, I went to meet the person called B.I met him in a bar, we went back to his, I spent sweet time with him and the following Saturday too, to then have it all thrown back in my face..I was truly gutted about this, it has to be said. I spent 3 years thinking about him, I always will have a place in my heart for him and I guess him meeting someone new last summer, started to confirm to me, that he never really wanted anything major with me and indeed, couldn't have held the depth of love that I thought he may've held.....
It's been good for me to meet and spend time with A; we are very different sort of people and yet really similar and complimentary aswell in the things we like..for example, he's a big reggae fan and DJ - a reformed Gangsta Rap worshipper to a peace loving man, funnily enough, reggae was one of my loves way back in my teen years so we have a lot of crossover here with regards to this. The friendship is very different and yet, i feel we compliment each other, he's very masculine and yet a little boy underneath it all too, at the same time..to which he does admit and indeed, isn't really proud of but does acknowledge this about himself.. He's VERY cheeky to me and yet has such a genuineness about himself, that I realise he's a truly sweet person.
He's extremely upfront but not about his own feelings where I'm concerned and shrouds his feelings in sarcasm - the other day for example, I go to see him and he says that he didn't put on his nice shirt for me...I laughed out loud..he looked at me in a way that spoke volumes! I can be myself with him regarding feelings and tactileness, which for me is massive and speaks volumes that I can be as such cos I am a really tactile person.

I like A a lot, I like his sensitivity, his brashness, masculinity, all of those things that let us be attracted to another person... I like the fact that he's turning his life around and yet admits defeat at times. I'm off to see him again this weekend and off to a party aswell, all should be good and maybe, just maybe, A has been sent to me to lighten the load and remind me that there is fun to be had out there and indeed, let me realise and rediscover again my feminine, wild and sensual self...
He called me both a Psycho and a Genius! He knows me so well!!!!!