Blood

I've recently been for a load of blood tests; Aneamia, Thyroid, HepB/C, diabetes etc etc..Hep B/C because I've worked with a lot of drug users and indeed, people who have this illness so I just wanted to ensure that I'm still healthy - not saying all drug users have this of course and of course, not stigmatising them in any way whatsoever, indeed people who've had transfusions before a certain time period, have also contracted this illness. It's a debilitating illness for sure but if kept in check, life can be OK and indeed a long one.

So my results? I have iron deficiency meaning that I have to take a course of iron tablets for quite a while - My Hb was under 9! Apparently a healthy hb should be around 11.5/12 for a woman! No wonder I've been tired, knackered, depressed and devoid of energy.


I'm missing A and have had no contact since last week, can't understand if I've pissed him off? I don't think I did/have and I know he has important stuff this week which I truly respect and want him to do the best that he can, but it would be nice to at least hear how he's doing.. hear that all is OK...I can't go down the road that I went down with B way back in time, where I was so emotionally distraught and the like, I can't let myself feel this way ever again with anyone..it destroys and tears you apart and there's no way my heart and emotional self, can deal with another episode of this from another man...I don't know, I can't be all full on one minute and then not the next, this isn't me and it can never be me...I miss him and I don't like feeling cut out, it's not a good feeling at all and makes one feel worthless and invisible!

So, time to reflect at the festival, luckily my son will be at his own house this weekend as my ex will be looking after the cat for me whilst I'm away, which means, it meakes sense for him to stay at mine and look after his son in own surroundings. Time to get my iron levels back to where they should be and hopefully, start to feel a little more like my usual energetic self again. Positively, I have a clean bill of blood health, which is all good! I hope A gets in touch, I have very strong feelings for him...we'll see but time is always the teller with these things..