Today has been a hectic and reflective one. I had a back to work meeting which went well but in many ways, I don't know if my heart is with this work anymore. Time will tell and indeed, time will tell re. my iron levels and whether I need further tests to conclude what may be or not be, wrong with me. I've decided to cut my weeking work down to 3 days. I need the time for my head and my kids and I don't want to continually feel under pressure just for the sake of a job.
I've been thinking a lot about A today and dreamt about him last night. I think spending Monday night with him, really altered perspectives on many levels and I realise that my feelings are DEEP.
I've been also thinking about visiting my Mum's graveside cos I haven't been for some time and I sort of feel the urge - I always feel this is the best way to visit a grave, when the mind and heart feels the urge, rather than out of a responsibility. I guess building a childhood music playlist has brought up a lot of feelings and memories for me regarding my Mum and childhood years..
I've also been contacted re. counselling sessions that I applied for some time back and I have a first full-on session next week. GULP! I'm scared about it and don't know how I'll cope with it but the only way to move forward is to grow and develop ourselves and indeed, recognise and know ourselves..
This weekend I am invited to my lovely friend's Julie and Ian, who are having a birthday meal in the city, which I'm hoping to attend.. I want to see A but I know he's busy and I don't want to impose on his time as he has deadlines to meet and this is crucial to him and his life.
So let's hope this summer rain at some points ceases and some sunshine comes out to play!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Don't fear the counselling session.. Embrace it as an opportunity
Post a Comment