I saw my first leaf of autumn fall off a tree today whilst on a dinner break and how lovely to notice such things..it was from a young tree that was slowly shedding its leaves ready for the coming coldness. I love autumn and seeing this, makes me want to head out to the countryside and admire the autumnal colours..maybe next weekend could be a good idea if I can find a willing partner to come along with me!
So, it's my birthday on Saturday and I have nothing firm arranged. There was talk of a free festival in The Peaks that sounds ace but one of my friends who was up for driving up there, has a really bad cold so I think that idea is out of the question really. It looks like a night out in Nottingham, maybe a few drinks in Hockley and possibly a head down to The Highness night. Tomorrow night I'm out with dear friends for a curry to celebrate which will also be lovely to be around close friends. Friday, a swim and chill out at home I guess and maybe get cosy in my front room.
I've randomnly spoke to A and he's more than likely heading off to his Mum's caravan again this weekend, supposedly alone but who knows? Weird really that you can spend close time with someone and yet, they choose to head off on your birthday weekend which in retrospect is a person's own choice and thus shows me that I'm no importance really in the grand scheme of his life... So, I live my life accordingly!
Counselling again for me tomorrow which should be good and is indeed, turning many lights on for me.. I get on well with my counsellor and I definitely think she's the right choice for me.
Families? Don't you love them? My sister rang me the other day and spoke to me like a child - yelling and screaming at me purely because I asked my Dad if he was bringing his friend to his birthday meal in October; the friend is a woman and platonic friendship. I'm glad my Dad has a friend since my Mum's death but my sister ain't a happy bunny! I've decided that it's unfair of her to talk to me in that manner and tone - I'm not a child and neither is she! Dear me, people? They can be so complex and hard work at times..
I guess it's fair to say I'm feeling stronger and I guess jolly but there's still moments of sadness that creep in when I think deeply about certain things..and I guess that's why I try and keep my head on a lifted level if you get me, because I really can't ever sink to the really low depths again..I guess we learn a lot from sinking so low in truth.
So here's to a birthday of undisclosed age and time to be around sweet friends.
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