Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Thinking of.......

Yesterday I rang a place about counselling, yes counselling, for me and my head and heart. I was shocked at the cost although I knew it'd pretty much be as such;£30 for an hour session, with a min of 6 months weekly visits! That's a hell of a lot of money that I don't have.
This upset me. This means that I won't be going for counselling afterall! I feel an urge to get some closure on certain issues, I feel a need to respect myself a little more and be respected back. I replay words that have been said to me, over the years and become upset and anxious. I can't quite believe over time, the treatment I've allowed myself to be part of. This isn't me, this isn't what I'm about. All I can conclude is that since my Mum's death, life feels like it's taking its toll on me. I guess this is because I was so close to my Mum..
I'm bearing up just about, but I feel quite 'wobbly', it has to be said. I feel like I need peace, love, nurturing, respect, understanding, patience, kindness, amongst other things.
I also, funnily enough, have thought about doing a counselling course myself..it's expensive to do, but maybe this should be the direction my life should go...
I guess it's good to be prepared to look at ourselves and face our demons and grow from this..Counselling does require that you do this. Step one though, look after myself first cos if I don't then I won't be 'present' to look after those who need me..

4 comments:

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

I'm a trained consellor, perhaps you could email me or phone me, up to you Sara but offer is there.

Take care, you're doing the right thing!

Sara said...

Thanks Dan, I may take you up on the offer..A friend has given me some contacts too - think I was having a few bad days and everything felt like it was getting on top of me..I do know though, that to reach such depths can also help you move on and learn/appreciate lighter times, if you get my meaning.
Where did you do your counselling training, just out of interest? Was it Nottingham based? Been scanning the internet but there seems so many different 'awards/diplomas' etc that people can do.
I'd want to study a course that would guarantee me the chance of (hopefully) paid work at the end of it and indeed, prove fruitful for those in need. Thanks Dan x

FOUR DINNERS said...

Good for you DHG. Nice one.

Counselling isn't for everyone babe - had it after a robbery at work. Did nowt for me but it did help some of the people involved.

Take Dan up on his offer and see how it goes eh?

Aunt Jackie said...

Counseling can benefit everyone, and it's no shame at all... We all need some R&R and a safe confident ear... Just to collect our thoughts and regroup... Life can be so taxing... Just know people out here really do care... at least some of us!

Feel better! AJ