Happy Samhain and Happy Birthday to my Dad

So, the Samhain will be with us tomorrow. Normally I make a pumpkin soup, fresh herb and garlic bread and chocolate cakes. This year though, I feel that my kids don't really appreciate and enjoy the soup as much as adults so hot dogs and gateau will be the eve meal for tomorrow night and I know they'll wolf this down. I also will cut out a pumpkin and light this outside for Jake to enjoy. I asked my son if he wanted to go trick and treating but he said not..so, a quiet time at home chilling and whatever takes the fancy.

It's also my Dad's 70th birthday this weekend. My family are all going out for a meal with him to celebrate this occasion. I hope I look as good as my dad does when I reach 70! He still looks very young to me and I guess regular walks and being an outdoor man has enabled him to be so fortunate with keeping a youthful glow. I've also got my mate's birthday party to attend afterwards which will be good to catch up with her for her birthday too.

Distance? I feel that A's still not over his ex and thus, this is difficult for me. I still find the hol business difficult and I know he is in contact still which is fair enough but sometimes I feel like I'm just a stop gap in the grand scheme of things. I don't want to meet men who are still pining for their ex's and who keep me at arm's length...it's not a nice feeling and one that leaves me feeling dry and empty and this I don't want to feel anymore...it's like being second best and this isn't good. I really feel that time is precious and there's a wide world out there for me to explore. I'd like to share this with a person who loves me, or who falls in love with me but it seems that since the split with my son's father,I meet people who never want this. Hmm difficult dilemmas for sure.
Maybe the universe shows us these experiences to prepare us for what is ahead, maybe the path is always mapped out and we eventually fall on the right path that was always meant to be..

I've also been informed there's an outdoor Smokescreen party next weekend - I really hope to attend. Haven't been to one for ages but would be cool to enjoy the Smokescreen vibe again as I haven't been to one of their nights for a long time..