Sunday, October 05, 2008

Reflective Thinking

I've calmed down since my angry last post. I had a really good night last night, met up with some sweet people who often attend the same club night as me and indeed, Dj at it. It was lovely to chat with them all and nice to chat and meet some new people.. we all then headed to a good night at the Maze and lots of dancing, chatting and laughing, indeed it was also sweet to bump into old friends at The Maze and talk with them..

Today, I've been reflecting a lot about the actions that we do and the decisions we make and how these impact on others. It has to be said, I can't but help feel that my actions during times in my life could've been different but then I guess, if the path is somnewhat mapped for us then who knows? Maybe these actions are the grand scheme of things...?
Also, I don't feel proud that I've left a legacy to my kids regarding me not being with their Fathers but I've always been a firm believer in having a happy household for kids, rather than a war zone and the way both of my previous relationships headed, was a war zone and battle. I'm not saying that I ran as soon as the going got tough either but had the patience of a saint on many occasions and indeed, just realised that when two people can't function anymore then something positive has to be done and when all else fails, action has to be taken.
I talk about this after a poignant conversation I had last night with someone who was in a loveless marriage but who'd chosen to stick it out for the sake of the kids..I found this honourable but at the same time, felt a sense of sadness that the person is having to live this way and is making abig sacrifice regarding their own happiness - maybe I'm selfish on this level but I just know I could never live a lie on that level to my kids..each to their own though and I wish the best for this person and their life and kids..I guess all scenarios are different and complex.

Life? It's a funny thing really when you think about all of the emotions that pass through us on a daily and indeed life level and yet, on a simple level as humans we're here and then gone the next - always seems so mad when I think of it in this context..

1 comment:

Furtheron said...

life... bit of a bugger at times... :-)

P.S. I'm back at http://guitarsandlife.blogspot.com/