The glass

My beautiful memories of him, even though I still see him, are still as crystal clear as the empty glass on my desk; A little murkier around the edges but I guess that's what you call getting to know the 'true' person.
The person who is scared to reveal their angry self because they know how it can be destructive and damaging..can end friendships, as quick as friendships are made.
Luckily, the glass still shines for me and the clarity grounds me. Grounds me because I know him well. I understand him, the moods, the anger, the self loathing, the frustration - Maybe better than he realises.
Why the fear? Anger? Frustration? I'm not actually going anywhere, or judging anyone, doing anything. But grounding. If he wants me to 'leave' him, as the angry mind of him, sometimes implies, then I can..Although the clarity of the glass tells me that leaving him means scared, sad, rejected. I never let the glass go dusty. I like to keep the glass shiny.Because he still shines for me...
And what about me in all of this? My mind goes back to the beautiful memories and hevaenly times we've spent together - outweighing the negativity...Oh when I remember the old flat, nights on that bed of iron - treasured moments in my heart, tears falling when I left, the feel of his soft, all consuming skin. A true delight. This I miss. I miss the kissing, endlessly. I like kissing, I love kissing him.
And the nights in the new room. The blueness of his sheets, the hour on hour of being with him, last summer was a truly special time for me with him but for him, a madness time...
And all of these memories are always and will be kept in my heart and soul forver because these memories are the important, worthy ones. The less worthy, frustrated ones, I put down to a troubled soul at these times.

Friday I await with happiness...