Monday, April 14, 2008

General Debility

It's official, I've been signed off work with the above diagnosis. All of this week and last week, I have been consumed with sadness and lethargy. I cried at the Drs and in front of my manager, both were very sweet and understanding. I am in no fit state to be motivating people with numerous emotional and behavioural problems..I am burnt out and in need of respite and reflection and indeed of rebuilding myself.
I think the phone call from A really upset me too on Monday A.M. He explained his reasons for being peed off with me and I explained my side of things. I also have had a lot of stress with my eldest son this week and in fact, since he came back from his Fathers. I also think all of the madness over the past few years has hit me like an avalanche, crushing me out of nowhere! Meaning, I need time out for serious reflection and contemplation.
I'm missing A very much and missing the times and chats that we've shared together. I guess I'm sick of feeling loss and losing out..I know he needs to work on himself and I guess I do on some level. Whether we are friends again in the future remains to be seen..it's sad really.

I've decided to go and see someone to talk to, to try and move forward in my life to better and healthier pastures. This is all a good thing in my opinion and is indeed making me look at my life, decisions I've made etc etc, Hopefully, I'll come out feeling able to take on the world again..

Friends have been great; One friend's invited me to a carnival in London next week, another has invited me to hers and maybe to dance somewhere on Saturday..I'm going to seerious take time out and really work out what needs to be changed for the future..I'm still here and in one piece so that's all good!

1 comment:

Furtheron said...

Snap - I had that on a medical note when I went into Rehab... Welcome to the General Debility club.

Sorry you're in the place you are.

Talking to someone will help, be open, be honest, talk and listen to yourself and listen to them...

Good luck and hugs to you