Saturday, December 30, 2006

Season of goodwill? Here's to a New Year

After finding out that Saddam Hussein has been put to death today, has really upset me. I know this man was a tyrant and had committed so many attrocities but to me, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a deep sadness that we, as human beings continue to use such barabarity against people who've done wrong. OK I know some will say that he deserved it and that I'm talking a load of 'hippy' bollocks but I'm a big believer in compassion, humane treatment of others and peace.
What message does this give to the next generation? That the death sentence is fair and just? An eye for an eye? It amazes me that in the world we live in today, people still feel that revenge is acceptable.
Wouldn't it have actually been more acceptable to make Saddam contemplate the horrendous crimes he's done and maybe, given time, find a little remorse in his heart and soul, for what he's done and for destroying many of the people's lives to whom he's committed such attrocities against? I feel this is a much better way of being 'punished', than showing the world that 'the death penalty' is acceptable - that killing is OK? I await what will happen in Iraq and other states in the future and indeed, I foresee a blood bath in the coming future. So today the rain and gloom of the day have perfectly suited my distressed mood about such inhumanity.

On a lighter note, I'm looking forward to what a New Year will bring. I've had such a hard year of it in 2006 that I'm sure things can only get better. I aim to greet the New Year with a positive mind and outlook although I do fear, that I may well feel rather emotional too.
For some reason, Xmas and the run up to New Year has brought out a lot of emotion in me. However, I've come to the conclusion that I need to protect my heart a little better from now on and need to practice a little more 'reflection' about situations that may cause me upset;Upset that isn't intended by anyone but that just affects me, because of my own deep, yearning feelings.
I really know that I've never felt such a deep yearning and love for anyone in my life, than that I have felt for the same person, over almost a two year period. I still dream about him,in fact I dreamt about him after seeing him on Thursday - you wouldn't believe how 'real' the dream felt! I think about him alot of the time, I wonder about him and I hold him so dear to my heart, even though fate hasn't bound us together. However, I'm also more aware that sometimes in life, it's necessary to think a little more selfishly, create your own little coccoon, when you know that certain experiences may bring about a deep emotional trauma in you, a sort of self- preservation. Maybe I should take a leaf out of Simon Pegg's co actor in Spaced and Shaun of the Dead and heal my heart by the 'have a few flings scenario' because as he says, this has always aided his heartbreak.Hmmm I wonder? Not really my style really and in many ways, not really fair to another person. Indeed, why have a fling with someone when deep down, you crave and indeed love someone else?If anything, I guess it's best to clear your head of all love interests before you embark on a new voyage. Saying that though, I really don't ever think I'll lose that 'deep love' for the person I love. I think I could go, for example, 2 years without seeing him and then when I did see him, I'd still have the same feelings. Blimey! You really can't beat the power of feelings.
Anyway, love and feelings aside, I have friends coming over to my house early evening tomorrow for champagne and Black Russians and then we're being partly spontaneous, by heading off to one of my favourite bars and then meandering the streets of the inner city to be led to wherever the night may take us. I await a pleasant eve..
Have a wonderful New Year's Eve .

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