As mentioned previously, I've been reading a fantastic book called 'Living in the Light'. I can't emphasise how important and enlightening this book has been for me. Since I've been reading it and since my age turn to 40 years, something magical seems to have happened to me.
I've come to the realisation that I have to live each day as it comes. This has been a great learning curve for me as I'm very much a future thinking person..maybe I was using future planning and thoughts to deal with unhappiness and indeed, a tool for coping with stress and sadness.
I realise too that the universe, as I've always believed but find it hard to verbalise, does guide us to where we should be..
Sidetracking a little, a friend I went out for drinks and dancing with last night, discussed constantly her issues about the relationship she's in, which went around in circles.
I actually wanted to tell her to stop the rambling and let the universe and her gut feeling take care of the issues. If she has a problem about him that they can't seem to work out, then so be it, she shouldn't be with him.
I find it interesting that as humans, people feel they need to define themselves by the person they're with. For many people, this generally means being with a person who the outer world, thinks is attractive, right body shape, etc, etc, you get the picture. Also, by being in a relationship, a person's needs will, as many people believe and indeed use, be fed. I actually don't agree with this fact, as a use of other people..
Surely being with a person as both lover and someone you're sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with, it's not about needs at all but about a more deeper understanding and connection, a shared energy, passion, insight, love.. I really don't look at relationships in the sense that my 'needs' should be met. I should be meeting my own needs without another person having to meet them for me. I should be loving myself, without relying on others' love to define me. By loving myself, I feel love follows from others automatically anyway.
I said to my friend last night at the end of our long repititive conservations,
"What does your inner voice say? What does your gut feeling say?"
She knows all of the above but is scared to face these things, I fear. Like myself, a while back, I too felt like her but I had to be brave and face the truth..
Now? I'm happy, energetic, playful, light..my energy has been opened up again and I'm content to let my world turn to where it should be..
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2 comments:
I should try this book I think...
I've come to some similar conclusions over time and largely through the 12step programme of recovery. That was just the means to the end by the way I'm not a zealot about that like some.
Your thing about "being with a person..." I should blog on this maybe... anyhows - I used to often say "Do you love me?" Why? Odd needing that answer, that affirmation. Now I more often say - "I love you" and leave it at that. If she says "Love you too" or she says "I love you" to me then that's great. My love to her is the only bit I can own not her response.
I can still fight the inner voice though at times. I still want to be totally in control you know... :-)
Interesting points there FOUTR -The book is called Living in the Light by Shakti Gawain..really good and worth the read. I've dipped into a few bits from the 12 step book and according to a friend who was in AA, the whole organisation and philosophy really helped her look at herself a lot more.
Try the book, I think you'll like it :-)
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