I had a rather unnerving dream last night, I won't go into the details but it's sort of made me think again about dreams and symbolism..ie - what this dream is telling me and whether I should take heed from the image that I saw.. I know this sounds mad and the like but I've had dreams like this in the past, that have seemed to warn me or show me somrthing in the future and then they've come true on some level..
I did go for a first session of counselling yesterday so maybe my mind was a little unsettled from this experience too.. I was asked to think about the sort of things that I'd like to work on during counselling and maybe this is where the trigger in the dream came from as I mentioned: Past relationship/s, behaviours, escapism, Mother's death, children etc etc..a lot of things to work through and a lot of sadness/emotion along the way I guess..I don't know whether I'm strong enough just yet to face these emotions and I'm scared about what they'll unveil/change in me. My friend said that I must go - I'm not so sure - I think I'm shit scared to open up and spew forth my feelings and hurt my throat - I say this cos when I get upset, I get that lump in my throat..that roadblock of communication feeling..
I know that I don't want to lose out anymore in life and maybe this is what the dream is referring to?
On a lighter note, I watched This is England last night - One word - Awesome!
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2 comments:
you know some of my story if you've read my stuff back at my blog and other blog....
Here's is a tip from my personal experience. I spent years never tell the truth about myself, my feelings, my emotions and what was truly going on in my head and heart - althought the latter couldn't function properly due to all this pretence and fabrication.
I had a good deal of counselling after I was in NYC on 9/11 - partly about PTSD and also from that about my low judgement of self-worth. I played a game in both lying to counsellor to tell them what I thought they should hear. That's how I dealt with everyone.
The day I finally started telling the truth was the day my life (re)started.
You may laugh, cry, feel pain you never knew inside but for me the enlightenment of truth was unbelievably freeing.
Good luck
You're so inspiring FOUTR, you really are..your words often touch me to the point of tears! Thanks for the kind words and I'm glad that you found a way and indeed enlightenment to the truth..9/11? Gosh, I never knew that..puts things into a whole different perspective in many ways too..I guess I know the answers deep down in my gut but it's putting them into practice..have you ever read a book called 'Living in the Light'? I think you'd sorta like it in some ways..
Thanks again for the touching comment..
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