Finality Finalised

I return home to the news that my ex now has been given a date to move into his new place. It will be just after the New Year, which is great news for him. New Year, new start - in every way, I imagine. I have no idea what to do for the New Year as yet and I guess it all depends on childcare which, it may well be that my son's Dad is looking after his son on this eve.

OK so here's a rundown of my recent break away.

I borrowed my friend's bike and cycled down and across the lakes to an area called Norrebro. I thought it'd be interesting to find a cosy bar, where I'd feel at home in, as a lone female. I decided on a great little bar called Blagards Apoteket on Blagards Place; a radical bar that houses some of the most radical live bands on the Danish music scene. I ended up chatting to a freindly danish man called Bjorn, who had three kids, all of whom are now grown up. The band I watched were great with an excellent female lead vocalist. The atmosphere was also wonderfully chilled and friendly. Bjorn lived in a place called Valby and so we walked home to Frederisksberg together, as this is on the way to Valby and said our goodbyes. It was good to chat to a random man with no fixed agenda, on anyone's part.

I went to the Xmas Jule Marked on Christiania. This was just as I remembered - amazing!!! I had Irish coffee and then ended up in my favourite bar Woodstock for a few Xmas Jule Brews. I got chatting to a man from Gambia who'd lived in Denmark for 25years! My mate wanted to leave earlyish so I semi arranged to meet the Gambian man, Sam again later if I decided to wonder back down to Christiania. I'd also received a sweet email from Filip. my new Greenland friend. Sadly, he was moving accommodation and was out of the city area so we were unable to link up. His email was very sweet though and indeed lovely to hear that he's doing OK.
One thing I loved about the people I met, all men, was there was no agenda to try and get off with me or indeed make a move on me. Almost like these men can be friends with you even though I'm female. I remember this is what I liked about living in Denmark years ago; men could be true friends without wanting to get in your knickers!! It was nice just to chat to Sam and Bjorn and I felt very relaxed and indeed not threatened by their company, more like they were sweet associates than a potential predator!
Anyway....

I went for a long, long bike ride all around the city, west to north. It was cold but truly delightful. I stopped and window shopped in secondhand/retro stalls and enjoyed the laid back ambience that is Copenhagen and it's neighbouring suburbs.

In the evening, my friend and I had a drink in the local 'bodega' and then got take out curry and two bottles of wine. We also got a little high after out Christiania expedition purchases..she now has a new found woman supplier for all things cannabis like! (remember hash is still sold openly on Christiania)

Up at 5am and on to the metro, I was called 'Smukke' (beautiful)this morn at 6am by a drunken Danish man, I didn't feel smukke and I'm sure I didn't look 'smukke' but sweet and funny nonetheless.

Again a wonderful time and a good break..I've now put up the Xmas tree with my son and discussed with my ex about his new place. Two weeks and his life will be so different as will minbe; no more staying at mine when he needs a sofa, free to move forward and start living the way I wanted to over nearly three years ago. Gosh!

I miss beloved and I still feel sad about the whole depressing situation but maybe this is the right time to really cut him from my heart, New Year and all that? How ironic that he was the person who I truly wished to have something long term with and yet I have nothing..that feels sad and it hurts. Maybe I was just the scraps left over in his life? How sad and crap at the same time that you can be so close to someone and then it all diminishes to nothing...I hate this and it's not my style of friendships but I still know that I need to protect my heart from further upset and heartbreak because it truly has been dealt far too many blows of recent...let him shower his new love with his love but funnily enough, I'm not convinced for some odd reason. Not convinced at all. Maybe I've just been a complete and utter twat? Well, I know my heart is kind and will only settle properly when it's treated by one who knows about passion, kindness, love, acceptance, respect, patience etc etc.

Anyway...here's to the Winter Solstice and the New Year. Roll on fast 2008!!!!