Sparkly sparkly dancey party

Hoorah! Work is done and now it's time to proper party. Last night the curry was fab, I was on top form and had a lovely time with my mates. Real good fun, we got chatting about male/female power/imbalance/balance/ sex relations etc etc etc. My friends were shocked that my earliest boy fancy was when I was 4 years old!! Hmm I think I just was an early starter in seing beauty in people...maybe?

Anyway, after getting rather drunk, I finally poled in at 2am.

Tonight is a dancing night - technoey affair, muchos vodka, muchos fun, muchos laughter, I hope...I know this will be the case, I do not need to hope!
I feel sparkly today, happier and like life is good despite the shit that's happened recently, I ain't gonna let such things get to me now. Beloved made his decisions to never have anything steady and serious with me. Thus, I make my decisions toi lead my life into new directions, happenings, people.. I still get moments where I cry and feel terribly sad and bereft but I've decided that I've always been the second option amongst all of the other women that have walkedin, or been in his life. This isn't fair and this I refuse to be part of and indeed endure again.. I'm sure he'll be happy with his new love

No kids
Same age
Same interests - I guess?
No responsibilties
No complications
Apparently, he thinks she's beautiful, so one of his forum posts mentioned. Dear me man, can you actually be a little more fuckin insensitive?

Piece of cake relationship eh,? Let's hope so, let's sincerely hope so..let's hope it all goes swimmingly and they live happily ever after..Do I sound jealous? Hmm I guess I do. I'm just experiencing a range of emotions where he's concerned, from -

Rage
Anger
Sadness
Loss
Bereft
Depression
Grief
BLAH BLAH FUCKIN BLAH - I'm just really hurt in fact and really sad that things go all amok again. Yes, it's my issue that I can't deal with him meeting someone new but that's why I have to protect my heart, it really is. Oh dear me. And New Year? Not remembering it? That reallllllllllly hurts....


Anyway, loss and sadness aside, I'm determined to have fun and here's to a wicked night guys, I'm seriously ready for letting it all out big styleeeeeee!!