A feeling of hurt

It's amazing that things which to you are special, seem to mean nothing to another person. By this I mean special moments and time spent. It makes me realise the distance of two people, even though you thought you were close, is possibly not the case for the other person; for special memories and moments shared would be also stored in their mind, memory and heart. I guess it just reinforces to me ever more, that you never really know anyone that much, or what you did think you know, is all an illusion..I think it's time to be truer to myself, realise that I've been living ...

In a dream and a delusion,
understand that I'm not wanted,
leave the path for him to walk down - his new love,
Who he loves, plans, plays,
clear the debris of me in his life
and let him be free,
of me,
truly,
let me be the dying ember of what once was
A burning fire of love
Desire.
Let me slowly burn away
From his memory
Today,
In his memory am I, no part
In his heart....

I also had 3 really emotional dreams this morning, I guess this was due to last night's episode when at beloved's..it upset me and I felt shocked that I have such a tiny, if any, part in his heart.
One of the dreams I was running and hiding under a table with others, avoiding sprays of bullets from Chinese soldiers, whilst all around me people were bleeding to death. Hmm fuck knows what that's all about and what it all means..