Hmmm I wonder........

I've just read an interesting poem from my favourite forum, that talks about love and not knowing how to prove it. It's got me thinking about my own stuff in a weird sort of way. For me, I'm a demonstrative and vocal person. However, I do feel with love that although I speak of love and write about my feelings alot, through this 'fairly private' blog and through poems - deep down, love is just a feeling. Simple as. It's actually easy really and there's nothing difficult about it.

It's a weird one but you just know it, when you feel it. I guess really what I'm saying is, the proof is in the feelings that become apparent, when two people share special intimate times and continue to do so and indeed, want to continue to!
For me, when I see my loved one, I just get a strange but happy feeling, he lights up the moment. Even hearing his voice brings a ray of light and a comfort. I remember in the past bumping into him on quite a few occasions, in a few clubs and all I could see was him. Almost like a light shining on him, from nowhere.. Everything around me went quiet and I felt that it was just me and him in the room. All I could focus on was him and how beautiful, inviting, shiny and sparkly he looked and indeed, still does! I remember also, that I've had the strangest 'electrical' spark feelings at times. Once, he touched my palm and my God, did I get a weird jolt of what felt like 'electricity'. The same happened when I kissed him, in a hallway near a staircase. And again and again, these feelings repeat themselves!

Sometimes though, I've been a little confused I guess at times and thus, become changeable, because in the past, I felt that I was getting a lot of mixed messages from him. He even declared to me that he 'didn't love me' in an email, way back in July. This really upset me and cut me up but in my heart, I didn't believe these words. I then questioned these words and actions and thought maybe I was too delusional and indeed, yes, he didn't love me. Saying that, I'd spend the most beautiful times with him and I felt such a warmth and magical feeling when I was in his company that I've never felt before with anyone. A strange, warm, magical and sacred feeling. He's also said some of the most truly, special words, that will always be there in my heart and are so sacred to me.

So there we have it. Love eh?
I suppose I prove my love (although I'm not actually trying to prove it!) by being vocal, wanting to share times together, by writing poems, by visiting him whenever I can, by being kind, understanding and patient (well mostly, I can be impatient and changeable it's true but only when I feel let down or sad) by listening to him, by the sheer enjoyment I get from admiring him, touch, smell and all of the simple things that love actually feels like. Just being with him, is wonderful for me..simple.