Pangs.........

I write this passage in a inebriated state of mind. I write this passage because i have to. No one has told me to do so but I feel a need. A need. A deep need.
I went to a wonderful house party tonight and I met a beautiful woman with cerebral palsy. She is a woman to really homour. She has guts, patience, anger, love and understanding. I'm so glad I met her. Sometimes in life, we forget how lucky we all are. How much we take our bodies and soul for granted. We all p[layed a really funny pop quiz game that made me howl with laughter, it was so corrrrrrrrny, but fun.
Anyway, I then went to a well dodgy club with a friend. I had a good time. Men liked me. they wanted to feel my hair. I wanted to tell them to fuck off. I only want the person I love to feel my hair. I missed him. I wanted to ring him. I wanted to be sat beside him. I wanted to laugh with him. I wanted to love him. I wanted to hold him. My blog is seriously heavy at times I know. I miss him. I wish we could share mad, stupid, times together. Stupid times, in stupid, ridiculous, crappy bars and clubs, that make you laugh but also remind you about who you are.
Luckily, my friend Julie, met a sweet person of a man, I do foresee. He had black hair. he likes The Cure. He loves' just Like HEAVEN'; - A Fantastic cure song. He loves The Forest. he seems a sensitive type. He seems like he likes Julie. I hope so, cos she really wants a loving companion.
I sat there alone tonight. I missed the person i love. i wanted to ring him but felt it was too late and that he'd be elsewhere and wouldn't want me contacting him. I just wanted to be with him and to lie beside him. I feel sad and alone tonight/today. We all are born alone and I guess die alone. I keep reminding myself about this phrase....