Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Message thoughts..

Well, I woke up quite early this morning after getting a decent night's sleep. Before I went to bed last night, I decided to read all of the old emails that I received from the person I love, dated from March 1st 2005 - nearly two years ago;luckily I'd printed these off and saved them, which was a good thing I did, as they were on my old PC which conked out a long time ago and thus would've meant that I'd have lost all of these precious messages. I thought to myself that although I'd had a shit day, his messages would make me feel happier and indeed bring a warm glow to my heart.
To read these messages and reflect on this time, brought a few tears to my eyes, not in a depressing way but in a reflecting way. I remember being so touched by meeting this person and a great need to see him again.
I remember so clearly, so many things about the first night that I met him. I also remember standing with him in the Old Market Square of Nottingham and talking about our live's complications - I guess I was trying to push him away at this point because I didn't think it was fair for him to have to deal with what my life was like back then and the complicated situation I was in..however, he was persistent and insisted we saw each other again. This persistence worked wonders! I also remember that we tried to go for a coffee together but the place we wanted to go to, was closed. So instead, we sat at a bus stop and talked about a lot of different things - Iceland being one of the subjects of our discussion.
Anyway, back to the messages! The messages are really touching, sweet and revealed to me that I'd met a person with a lot of depth, imagination and passion. I remember when I first read them, that they moved me in some strange way and just were 'me' in many ways too. Almost like when a person you meet, gives you that sense of letting you finally be 'who you really are on a romantic, imaginative and passionate level' and awakening of who you really are and indeed want to be.. I'd searched for this feeling all of my life with men but never found the sort of depth I found with my new found love.
The messages brought a smile to my face and made me think about where we are today as people and indeed how much has changed in our lives since this time. For me, many things have changed for the better. One thing's for sure though, although we know each other a lot better than when we first met - I still feel the emotions that I felt on that February night in 2005..

1 comment:

FOUR DINNERS said...

nowt wrong wi revisitin the past as long as it's good