Although as stated in my previous posts, I'm just a friend to the person I love, it's such a weird one. I went to see him again last night and the more time I spend in his company, my feelings are always the same for him..I don't know what it is with me and him but there always feels like some 'cosmic' understanding is there between us...I have such strong feelings. I didn't cry when I left him last night, Iwas in a happy, silly mood...however when I think about certain things, as I have this morning, I feel like crying. Not in a bad way, but just because of the depth of feelings I guess, that I do have for him.
Sometimes I think to myself -
'I wish our lives were different, or indeed, more similar..sometimes I don't think this should be an issue. Sometimes I feel like I want to let him 'fly away' and meet a woman around his own age, who he can settle down with and experience the 'family' sort of life, that I've experienced as a Mother. Sometimes I wish we could just run off together and be together in our own bubble. Sometimes, I don't know what to think. Sometimes, I have to break off from these feelings because I feel so sad. Sometimes, I think about the passionate times we've shared (actually this is a regular occurrence rather than a sometimes) Even as I was waiting to get on the bus last night, my heart flipped and I got a dull ache in my stomach's pit when I thought about certain moments with him...
I think I'm stronger now than I used to be, regarding my emotions but the depth of feeling never departs me.
1 comment:
Sometimes opposites attract. Sometimes for good sometimes not. Luck of the draw. Enjoy the good and sod the not so good. Caz is the complete opposite of me. She's intelligent and what would be described as 'posh' in some quarters. I'm her bit of rough. Fine by me.
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